Just not our time ... And starting to wonder if it ever will be.

BFN again. We used a pretty sensitive stick so I don't hold any hope for the blood test. The weight in my heart just keeps getting heavier as the road gets longer. 7 embryos put back and still no banana. It's starting to look more and more like I don't have any eggs left that are capable of going the distance which is quite a heartbreaking concept to have to try and get my head around. I'm going to get Scout to tell the nurses to call her and not me this time with the test results. I'm just really not up for hearing the same shit again. It's hard enough to go to work and hold myself together day in and day out. I really don't need a phone call from them to rub more salt into the wound. We won't be putting our two remaining frosties back till we've paid off the debt of this last cycle which will take a couple of months. But at this point I don't hold much hope that they will be any different than the last 7. I just want to run off and hide under a rock somewhere. This is not how I want my life to be. I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought I'd end up being one of the women that needed a rediculous number of IVF cycles to get pregnant. And what happens if after a rediculous number of cycles, I'm still not pregnant? Then what? I don't want to think about it. I just want to be pregnant. I just want to be past all this TTC shit. I feel like my life is on hold and I'm stuck somewhere I don't want to be.