Onto bigger and better things :)

Hello 2013!  This is the year we are gonna get pregnant people!  But before we get to that, I guess I should tie up 2012.  I haven't blogged much since our failed cycle mostly because I was in a badddd space after that BFN.  I limped through Scout's birthday and finally went in for the obligatory blood test on the Friday which was my last day at work.  I received the phone call from the nurse confirming the BFN in my car at lunch time and for the first time I cried on the phone.  I felt my voice break along with my heart.  I already knew what she was going to say but a little piece of me was still hoping the outcome might be different.  She was very kind and asked if we needed counselling but of course I just quietly declined.  To add insult to injury I actually developed unexplained nausea that week which had had me convinced I was pregnant even after only one line showing up on the piss stick.  Strangely this nausea has continued on and off ever since despite me not being pregnant.  Anyway - amidst this BFN our youngest graduated from kindergarten.  And I have been waiting to be in a happier mood to finally post it a photo of it :)

How grown up does she look in her little cap and gown?!  We were so proud :). So now our not-so-little girl will be soon be starting school.  She is so ready for it and so are we!

Anyway - Christmas came and went.  I wasn't feeling overly festive for many reasons but we put on a great pre-Christmas get together for Scout's dad's side of the family which my brother also attended.  I made potent sangria and drank myself into a blissful state of tolerance so I actually managed to enjoy the day.  Christmas eve we lit candles, made popcorn and watched carols on the TV with the girls.  They even slept in Xmas morning to the respectable hour of 7am which was a pleasant surprise!  Christmas Day was spent with Scout's mum's family where I chose not to drink although I made sure I still got in a few egg nogs before hand.   The day was nice but as always, tainted with feelings of missing my own family.  We are yet to actually spend a christmas with any of my side of the family despite active attempts on my part to try and make it happen.  They all live a long way away, except for my brother who is a flight attendant and often OS or in the air.  My mother prioritises spending time with her partners family so despite me trying to make plans in July for Christmas with her in Dec, she had already made other plans.  She said we were welcome to come up and stay but they wouldn't be there.  Why on earth we would want to spend $2000 to fly our family up there when they aren't there, and spend Xmas on our own away from any other family (ie Scout's) I have no idea but I can only assume this was her way of trying to offer something to make her feel less guilty about her continued support of her partner's children over her own ... but that's another story.

Anyway ... We finally left all the bullshit behind and went camping in a national park on the SA boarder.  Scout and I have been there before but this was the first time with the girls.  We went for a week and it was great although of course having the girls with us this time meant our activities were a little more limited.  Strangely enough little girls don't want to go fishing 24/7 so we had to mix it up with lots of day trips around the area to the caves, to the beach, and to other parts of the river to keep them entertained. It was bush camping so we had to use gas and solar power and hook up our own shower and toilet.  The girls got filthy but loved it and enjoyed making new friends with other kids at the campsite.

  

The highlight of the trip would be Jazz catching her first ever fish!!  Awesome!!!  The lowlight would be ripping off half the underside of my car when it bottomed out on something hard while flying down a soft sandy strip to one of the more remote beaches.  In the end we decided to pack up and leave a day early as the heat turned up and the fire danger became a little to risky to ignore.  It's nice to be home now although we have been still busy unpacking and washing and sorting out the girls to send them off to visit their dad for a few weeks.  Scout and I now have a whole 30 hours to ourselves before she heads of to army on a 2 week course.  She leaves this afternoon and then I go back to work tomorrow.  I am looking forward to sorting myself and the house out over the next fortnight while it's just me and the animals.  I plan on eating less, exercising more, and organising alot of the crap that's been lying around our house.  As for TTC stuff ... I will save my thoughts on that for another post.

Congrats to the ladies at 'Our baby making journey' on their recent BFP and I am looking forward to hearing how events unfold for Amy at 'My TCC Obstacle Course' over the next 2 weeks!