It's beginning to feel alot like AF ... 10dp2dt

Yesterday in the middle of Charlie's party I suddenly felt like AF had arrived. As soon as we had everyone settled in the cinema, I ran out to the toilet expecting the worst and there was nothing ... just excess CM or something. I'm glad it was nothing but I still have this feeling like AF is eminent. It's got me worried and on top of that I've just felt nervous in general, like my tummy has butterflies and my heart's gonna jump out of my chest! Anyway ... I am doing my best not to over think this stuff right now and stay distracted but it's getting harder the closer we get to my AF due date.

The party was ... FULL.ON. Let's just say Charlie will not be having a party next year. It was chaos all thanks to one little girl who Charlie is best friends with and who we would rather she didn't hang out with anymore. We've had this kid over before and been unimpressed but figured she was perhaps alittle misunderstood or something ... but now we know she's just plan nasty. Her behavior was atrocious and of course Charlie went along with it much to our discust. This kid was throwing crayons around the resturant, deliberately standing on and rubbing the crayons into the ground with her feet, running around and crawling under tables, ramming her hand into full glasses of water emptying the contents all over the table, pouring a ton of maple syrup onto her plate and then licking it back up like a dog, not listening, not sharing, being nasty to Jazz, somehow managing to pour a whole drink all over both Charlie and her seats in the cinema ... You name it, this kid did it. She even twisted Charlie's arm to the point where she was in tears in the car! Why Charlie is friend with this girl I have no idea but it's gonna stop. She was just out of control ... And if you asked her to stop she defiantly did it even more while looking at you. She is a serious piece of work and Scout was literately rocking in the corner after having to drive there and back with this kid in her car. Fortunately we took two cars so I didn't have to endure this child in a confined space. On numerous occasions I was ready to remove her from the party and make her sit outside with me for the rest of the afternoon while everyone else enjoyed the movie. Honestly ... It was bad. And I really felt bad for some of the other kids who were really nice and must have been wondering what planet this kid was from. Anyway ... The fact that Charlie went along with her behavior, also not listening, made us quite disappointed in her, so unfortunately she spent the rest of the afternoon in her room after it was over. Hmmm ...

On a lighter note, I had to make small talk with one of the other mother's at the resturant while waiting for Scout and her load to show up. This mother clearly didn't have a clue who I was since I'm rarely the one picking Charlie up from school and I think I shocked her alittle when she figured out that I was in fact Charlie's 'other mother' and Scout's partner. She said "Oh ... Oh, oh, umm, oh right, oh ... Yes now things make sense ... (nervous laugh)" lol. I was half waiting for her to grab her kid and run. It was interesting. Fortunately she didn't and in the end she was even happy enough for me (the lesbian) to even drop her kid home afterwards. On the way home her daughter confirmed that despite telling her mum that Charlie had two mums and was in a "rainbow family", apparently her mum didn't know what that was. I guess we've enlightened her :). Anyway at least she was relatively ok about it, cos we've had other mother's who aren't so fine with it. We are still living and learning along the way with our girls as they make new friends and grow older. Fortunately Charlie hasn't endured any bullying or hurt to date in relation to having two mums but we are waiting and dreading the day it ever happens.

Anyway ... I hope these AF symptoms are just a red herring and we are still in the game next Thursday. I am nervous as hell about POAS this time. I want to know if it's a BFP but I'm not ready to see a BFN. It's such a double edged sword!