The aftermath

This would have to be the heaviest period I have ever had. I'm not cramping as much as I thought I would but I'm still really uncomfortable and there seems to be no end to the clots that keep coming. I was surprised that my period arrived almost immediately after stopping the progesterone. One skipped dose and the next morning it was there. I'm not complaining ... In fact I'm glad I didn't have to wait too long for it to come. But it's a little scary to know that one missed dose could have that effect. Another unexpected side effect, which I'm assuming is the result of 'hormone withdrawal', is nausea. I haven't puked but I've felt pretty damn close to it. It actually woke me up the first night it was so bad. I just feel really sick and really uncomfortable.

Despite feeling like hell, I still went to work today and was a total space cadet. My boss was really concerned because she knows I've had lots of medical appointments and she knows I'm not right but she doesn't know why or what's wrong. Anyway, long story short, she's convinced me to take a week off work. I'm just shattered and under normal circumstances if I felt like this I wouldn't be dragging myself to work. I'd take a sick day or two or organise some annual leave, but I've taken so much time off work this year I've just felt like it's not an option to take more. So I've just kept pushing myself to keep going and keep it all together ... But clearly the cracks are starting to show. Anyway I guess I just needed someone to give me "permission" to take time out and fortunately I have a very insightful and supportive manager whose done exactly that. So ... I'm taking next week off. I am tired, run down and looking forward to having a rest. The girls are away at their dad's so Scout and I will have time to ourselves. She has been so great through all this, always knowing the right thing to say and putting up with my crankiness one minute and tears the next. She's so patient and loving and I am so lucky to have her. This BFN has hit her just as hard as me, so having some time off on our own together will be good for both of us.