Stick interpretations

So yesterday was 12dpo and we tested. I left the stick on the bench in the bathroom, went back to bed and made Scout go and check on it 5 minutes later. She was in there for awhile before she finally called out asking me to come into the bathroom. I found her looking back and forth between the stick in one hand and the product info sheet in the other. On the stick there was a faint line in the test box. Scout was clearly concerned by the lack of a defined line but my head was saying YAY! It's a line! To me it didn't matter that it was faint, it was still positive. But Scout didn't want to get too excited by something so faint so we agreed to wait another day and test again with the hope of something more convincing. All day I had light cramps on and off. We went shopping and even stopped at BabyCo for fun but we left pretty quickly as I felt a bit ridiculous being in there when we didn't even know if we're pregnant yet. At the end of the day I was shattered and collapsed in bed. My nose was blocked and I had a stomping headache which I assume was from not drinking enough all day.

This morning my temp was high and I was excited to POAS. My urine was really light in colour but I tested anyway and the result ... a B.F.N. Talk about disappointing! The faint line yesterday must have been the tail end of the Pregnyl leaving my system. I'm feeling a bit bummed now and a bit silly for letting that faint line trick me into believing I could be pregnant. I am tired and cranky and crampy but I'm not pregnant. Clearly I must be premenstrual. I have peed (in the bowl, not on a stick) 4 times in the last 4 hours and each time it's light in colour and large in volume. I really haven't drunk all that much lately and I don't normally pee this much either. My period is due tomorrow but instead of my temp dropping, it's risen. My chart looks great. So I have no idea what my body is up to but it's annoying and I'm unimpressed. I had the flu shot on Wednesday so my guess is I'm getting unwell from that. I don't really want to give up on this cycle just yet, but I'm preparing myself for the fact that AF is more than likely on it's way. Our FS has already told us she thinks we will end up needing to do IVF so we won't be wasting our time on another IUI. We will just need to tighten our belts and scrap together the moola to make it happen.

Waiting to POAS

So we have decided we are going to do our first real "looking for a positive" test tomorrow :). We actually did a test right before the second Pregnyl shot purely to see if the first shot was out of my system, which it was. So, going by that, the second shot should now also be gone. Tomorrow will be day 12. It's the weekend. There are no more distractions. We are chomping at the bit to get this POAS show on the road! We have 3 sticks for the next three days so we'll just see what shows up first ... Two lines or AF.

My cramps have been barely noticeable for the last day or so, the full/heavy feeling down there still comes and goes and I am generally a cranky pants to be around ATM but I don't really have any classic symptoms. What I do have though is a high temp and the sweats through the night. There is either a bun in this oven or I'm getting the flu!

Lest We Forget

Yesterday was Anzac Day. Even though we missed the dawn service, we still attended our local parade and made time out to remember those lost and who are currently serving OS. Scout marched so I thought I'd post some pics :)

One week down, one to go ...

It's now 7dpiui and we're doing ok although today really dragged. I don't feel like I have any real stand out 'symptoms' to report but I have been ridiculously vigilant looking for signs! lol. A couple of days post IUI I had a weird feeling of what can only be described as "fullness" down there for a number of days. That was definately something I've never felt before and was weird. Scout laughed at me and didn't believe me but it seriously lasted at least 3 days. I've also had a bit of ovary or kidney pain which I thought might have been an infection or something from the IUI at first. It's like a faint throbbing / cramping / ache. I found myself needing to go to the toilet a bit too but nothing seems to have come of it. I still get it from time to time which has made me a little worried about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy - especially given my endo scarring in and around the right tube - but I'm trying not to think too much about it. And of course today I was super tired, but I have 2 kids and work full time so of course I'm tired! Essentially ... I don't really have anything exciting to report in the symptom department but I guess it is only day 7 :) At least my temp is still nice and high and it even rose a bit more this morning so I'm happy with that. AF is due on the 30th and our plan is to resist the temptation to test till then, but if tomorrow is anything like today, that is going to be hard.

I also had my first Pregnyl shot on Friday and was half expecting that to give me a few symptoms too but nup. I do my second one tomorrow and then we wait. One more week to go :)

IUI Complete :)

Our first IUI took place yesterday afternoon :) And it all went just fine! My doctor left lots of info and directions about my cervix issues for her stand-in who also came up with a few tricks of her own, and all that together helped to pull off the IUI without anesthetic and limited pain. I was thrilled to say the least. And Scout managed to get there in time for it too even though she had to come in from work. So I couldn't have been happier :)

This morning I didn't get the temp spike I was hoping for, but it did rise above all my other temps so that's something I guess. So after all that worry about blowing this cycle, I actually think the timing wasn't as bad as I thought (although fertility friend doesn't agree but she's a fickle thing so she may well change her mind tomorrow!) Anyway, even if this cycle doesn't result in a BFP, I think we gave our first IUI a good shot :). And now I start the TTW which I still can't believe I am finally in. It will be interesting to see how I go. I'll be doing two shots of Pregnyl over the course of the wait and my blood test is scheduled for 4th May. Because of the Pregnyl I should really try to wait till 14dpo to POAS but I imagine that will be very hard to do!

Even though it's been a bit of a crazy cycle I feel good that we've had our first go. We're both realistic about our chances (which aren't great), but we are going to try to stay positive and just see what happens. At some point we will have to think about our next step and whether we try one more IUI or just jump to IVF if we get a BFN - but right now I am just going to try and enjoy the idea that we may still get lucky!

And just as a side note I have to say that this insemination has had us thinking a lot about our donor again and just how grateful we are that there's a guy out there who was generous enough to donate so that we could give this a try :). It's an amazing gift to be given.

Fertility signs are doing my head in.

I think over analyzing everything must just go hand in hand with TTC cos my brain has been working overtime for the past 24 hours. I've been stressing about fertility signs and trying to figure out if my cycle is already a bust or not. I did an OPK last night and it was +ve. That's a 36 hour gap between my -ve blood test Friday and +ve OPK Saturday night at 10.30pm. Then this morning I woke up to a temp rise. So I have no idea whether I caught the surge on Saturday night at the start or the finish but the temp rise this morning has me worried. I did a saliva test and it showed full ferning - ie time to get busy with sperm. My clinic doesn't do IUIs on the weekend so despite all the signs suggesting I'm either ovulating or about to, there's no chance of inseminating! They usually use an antagonist to delay ovulation if they think it'll happen over the weekend but clearly on Friday it looked like we still had plenty of time. So I went in for the blood test this morning and told them about the positive OPK last night and they were like "Great!". This confused me since I'm freaking out at this point that I can't inseminate till tomorrow afternoon at the earliest (they also only do inseminations in the afternoon - can it get any more restrictive?!). So now I'm worried I'm missing my window of opportunity. If I caught the surge at the start and I haven't ovulated yet then a Monday afternoon insemination might still be ok. But if it was the later stage of the surge and I've ovulated today then I'm screwed. Anyway, they took my blood this morning and rang me later to confirm the surge and told me I'm booked for a 4pm insemination tomorrow. They've also cancelled the scan as it's apparently no longer necessary (probably because the egg will have already done a runner by then if it hasn't already!). I'm trying to stay positive but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned. I am just hoping that tomorrow morning my temp drops again or stays the same. A spike will be a disaster. I am relying on the fact that my temps have been all over the place for the last two cycles, I never ovulate this early, I've not gotten any EWCM yet and I'm only at day 12. But I've also never done injectables so who knows what impact that's had. I think I am just going to have to hope for the best and try not to stress that my little follicle has already flown the coop.

Camera shy ovary?

Bloods came back with baseline levels so we still have time to grow this follicle :). I've decided I'm going to get Scout to do some reflexology on me tonight to stimulate my ovaries ... Random but I figured it may be worth a try. I'm still a little paranoid about missing the surge so I think I'll go buy some sticks to pee on tonight. I don't usually get a good indication from OPKs and gave up on them awhile ago while tracking my cycle but now that we're actively TTC it's probably worth trying again. My saliva test shows the beginnings of ferning so it's getting closer. Starting to get excited :). Just hope that follicle keeps growing at a good pace. Fingers crossed it's 18mm+ by Monday.

I am trying to ignore the fact that this follicle is on the right. Eggs have been know to travel across to the other tube and the fact that my tubes have been recently flushed has got to work in our favour. I'm also convinced (or perhaps in denial) that there has to be another follicle on the left. They've always had trouble finding my left ovary with the higher tech machines so perhaps (in my fantasy land) the basic ultrasound used by my Dr just doesn't have enough resolution to see what's happening on my left. I know ... it's a bit far fetched but it makes me feel better to believe that there's some rouge follicle hiding in there that just might save the day! Anyway I'm off to buy some sticks and tomorrow we go in for more blood tests :)

Also - we're back from our trip so I have some pics to share!

Exploring the rock pools at Cape Liptrap

Tidal streams at Squeaky Beach

The tooth fairy has been working overtime ...

Beautiful views around the Prom

Camping in style ;)

More appointments

I was up early this morning to make the long drive back into the city for my scan. The Dr who did the scan turned out to be the same Dr our friends are seeing. She was very nice and seemed fairly familiar with where we are up to with things. The scan was pretty straight forward, however it turns out the follicle is on the right hand side which is the side with the dodgy tube so I was a bit disappointed about that. Still, I'm trying to stay positive ... At least we have a follicle to work with. Apparently it's taking it's time growing so the Dr has upped my puregon dose to fatten it up a bit :) It was 10mm on Wednesday and it's 13mm today. They're still not sure as to when we'll inseminate ... It will just depend on the size and whether I surge on my own or not. I'm just hoping I don't surge too soon. They took blood today and I have to go in for another blood test on Sunday so they can keep an eye on it. Then Monday they'll do another scan and see where we're at. So I'm hoping we're still looking at insemination on Tuesday. We'll see. My temp dipped this morning and it usually does that 3-4 days before I ovulate. Either way I'm impressed with how closely they're monitoring the cycle. It's alot of appointments but if it increases my chances then I'm happy to do it.

Today is our last day in Toora. We pack up head home tomorrow. I'm tired from all the driving this morning so I'm just going to relax and do nothing this afternoon. Scout wants to go fishing again tonight, but I need an early night so she'll take Charlie with her and leave Jazz with me. I'm disappointed I've missed out on a lot of time with the girls this trip but we've still manage to have fun. Wilson's prom was beautiful :). The girls had a great time at Squeaky Beach playing in the tidal streams and on the rocks, however Charlie was a bit disappointed that the sand wasn't as 'squeaky' as she'd hoped lol. Anyway we will definately have to make another trip to camp there sometime.

Right now though, I think i need a sleep! I am not looking forward to packing up or the drive home tomorrow.

Grow you good follicle ;). But not too fast ...

Had my first scan yesterday. One lovely little follicle coming along nicely :). Of course I forgot to ask which side it was on but I am going in for another scan tomorrow so I'll ask then. Since we are away on holiday, going in for a scan is a bit of a task. Basically it's a 5 hour round trip all for a 15 min appointment! Kinda crazy but we knew that would be the case and I'd rather the girls didn't miss out on camping just because of my appointments. So tomorrow I get to do it all again while Scout and the girls hang out back at the caravan park. Unfortunately Dr P is away tomorrow and also next Monday so another Dr will be doing the scan and possibly the insemination depending on how the follicle grows. I'm a little disappointed about this but I can't blame her for wanting a long weekend with her family :). The biggest thing I'm concerned about is that this other Dr is unfamiliar with my cervix which has a 180 degree turn she'll need to negotiate. I was already dreading the process without having a new person poking and prodding around down there trying to figure it out. So just between you and me ... I am kinda hoping my follicle takes it's time growing so we can inseminate on Tuesday with Dr P ;).

Apart from that, I'm still doing my injections and have it down to a fine art now. I have a nice little row of dots across my tummy :). Scout wanted me to make a smiley face with them lol. Maybe next cycle :).

The caravan park we are staying at is pretty average but the girls are loving the freedom of being out and about on their own around the park riding their bikes and making and playing with new friends. They love it when we go away with the camper. It's actually a tent trailer we bought a few years ago and use quite a bit. Unfortunately the site we are on at the moment is on a bit of a slope, so sleeping at night feels like you're constantly on the verge of rolling out of bed! The joys of camping!

Today we are off to Wilsons Prom for the day which should be good and hopefully tonight we'll get in a bit of fishing :). It's nice to be on holidays ... Even if I am spending more time driving than kicking back a the camp site!

Day 3 and first injection!

AF finally arrived ... 6 days later than usual!  So we are now in our first cycle of TTC :)  I called in my day 1 on Wednesday so they could generate my schedule and work out payment.  1 donor insemination = $1950 which they will bill me for on the day before insemination.  I have no idea just yet how much I will get back from Medicare but I'm hoping it's at least $600.  Since I have been too busy with work to scratch myself, Scout and Charlie had to make the drive into the city to pick up my drugs and also visit my specialist to pay off the rest of my account from the laparoscopy.  I am still waiting for my insurance company to pay up the last $200 towards this ... but that's another story.  Let's just say I have learned a lesson in how best to deal with them.  So last night I came home to find a nice little collection of drugs in our fridge.  I am excited!  WE are excited!

So the lesson from my nurse in how to administer this stuff happened ages ago ... like sometime in January!  It's now over 2 months later and I am a little foggy on the details.  Fortunately everything you don't know how to do can be found on YouTube :)  So after a quick lesson from there, it all came back to me and this morning I gave myself my first injection of Puregon :)  The girls were totally fascinated but the whole process which I found a little stressful as they wouldn't leave me alone while I was trying to set it up and inject, but in the end it was easier than I thought and over and done with in no time.  I am booked in to see my specialist for a scan on Wednesday next week and will be doing daily injections between now and then.  I am just hoping and praying that the stim isn't too much and that we don't end up with too many lead follicles.  My ovaries already work, we really just want to make sure we get a lead follicle on the left and not just on the right because my right tube is unlikely to pick up or transport anything.  It will be interesting to see what shows up on the scan next week.  I just hope we don't end up with too many, cos then they'll cancel the cycle and that would be seriously disappointing.  It will also be interesting to see how my body responds to these drugs.  Scout is already tip-toeing around me waiting for some kind of response and I only injected an hour ago!

As today is Good Friday we are all home and on holidays for the next week and a half.  Scout has taken up a night fill job at our local supermarket for extra money and has been struggling to adjust to the late hours at night and entertaining the girls on holidays during the day.  Since I'm home today, I was hoping she would  be able to catch up on some rest but our girls aren't helping.  They are 'loud' ... or at least one of our girls is ... so it's not all that easy to sleep around here during the day.  Anyway ... we have both been so busy we haven't seen all that much of each other lately ... a bit like ships in the night ... so I'm looking forward to spending some time together.  We are home for Easter and then head down the peninsula with our camper in tow for a few days on the coast.  I will have to drive back to Melbourne on Tuesday night to check on the animals and visit my specialist on Wednesday morning but apart from that it should be a nice trip away and we are all looking forward to it :)