Quality not quantity?

So my scan today was unfortunately not as good as I'd hoped or at least my FS didn't seem to think so. I'm sitting there staring at her screen trying to figure out what's what and she's measuring away not saying anything. This is typical of my FS. I really do like having her as my specialist but sometimes I just wish she would give me a bit more information. So I ask if it's looking any better than last time and she's tells me "No, unfortunately it's not as good a response". My heart sinks and I feel totally confused because I'm sure I can see a number of follicles on the screen. Then she says, "There's only 5 follicles. 4 are a good size, and the other is alittle small. There's a few more tiny ones but at this stage they won't do anything." I'm thinking ... I'm sure 5 follicles is better than last time? She then starts talking about how we collected 7 eggs last go etc and it's unlikely we'll get more than 5 this time. Then she ends the conversation with the throw away comment "it only takes one" and leaves to let me get dressed. Ok ... So I know it only takes one, and yes I should be grateful I actually have 5 potentials at this point ... and I know this comment was meant as a comment of hope ... but it annoyed me. When I'm shelling out thousands of dollars per cycle I want more than one damn it and a comment like that makes me feel that's all she thinks I'll get again. So while I'm dressing myself I feel like challenging her about the number of follicles I had last time and how I miraculously ended up with twice as many eggs as expected, but of course I let it go. When I finally come out from behind the curtain she tells me to up the puregon to 450iu (which is the maximum dose my pen will dial) and come back for another scan on Wednesday. I drive to work feeling half ok and half upset. Part of me thinks it was a good scan and believes that it was better than last time regardless of what she said and I should feel good about that, but the other part of me is stuck on the fact that my FS (who obviously knows more than I do) said it was worse. So I don't know what to think. To be honest I'd really rather just keep my head in the sand till collection at this point given my experience of scans has been pretty negative to date. I just don't need to be stressing about numbers when the bottom lines is how many actually make it to transfer. I also hate that I have these scans right before I go to work cos it makes the whole day feel pretty crap. I had to get up at 5am to make it to the scan and the rest of the day I've had a stinker of a headache from the syneryl, so tonight I think I'll just have an early night and quit thinking about what is or isn't going on in my ovaries. I'm tired already and this week has only just begun ...

More appointments

I was up early this morning to make the long drive back into the city for my scan. The Dr who did the scan turned out to be the same Dr our friends are seeing. She was very nice and seemed fairly familiar with where we are up to with things. The scan was pretty straight forward, however it turns out the follicle is on the right hand side which is the side with the dodgy tube so I was a bit disappointed about that. Still, I'm trying to stay positive ... At least we have a follicle to work with. Apparently it's taking it's time growing so the Dr has upped my puregon dose to fatten it up a bit :) It was 10mm on Wednesday and it's 13mm today. They're still not sure as to when we'll inseminate ... It will just depend on the size and whether I surge on my own or not. I'm just hoping I don't surge too soon. They took blood today and I have to go in for another blood test on Sunday so they can keep an eye on it. Then Monday they'll do another scan and see where we're at. So I'm hoping we're still looking at insemination on Tuesday. We'll see. My temp dipped this morning and it usually does that 3-4 days before I ovulate. Either way I'm impressed with how closely they're monitoring the cycle. It's alot of appointments but if it increases my chances then I'm happy to do it.

Today is our last day in Toora. We pack up head home tomorrow. I'm tired from all the driving this morning so I'm just going to relax and do nothing this afternoon. Scout wants to go fishing again tonight, but I need an early night so she'll take Charlie with her and leave Jazz with me. I'm disappointed I've missed out on a lot of time with the girls this trip but we've still manage to have fun. Wilson's prom was beautiful :). The girls had a great time at Squeaky Beach playing in the tidal streams and on the rocks, however Charlie was a bit disappointed that the sand wasn't as 'squeaky' as she'd hoped lol. Anyway we will definately have to make another trip to camp there sometime.

Right now though, I think i need a sleep! I am not looking forward to packing up or the drive home tomorrow.

Grow you good follicle ;). But not too fast ...

Had my first scan yesterday. One lovely little follicle coming along nicely :). Of course I forgot to ask which side it was on but I am going in for another scan tomorrow so I'll ask then. Since we are away on holiday, going in for a scan is a bit of a task. Basically it's a 5 hour round trip all for a 15 min appointment! Kinda crazy but we knew that would be the case and I'd rather the girls didn't miss out on camping just because of my appointments. So tomorrow I get to do it all again while Scout and the girls hang out back at the caravan park. Unfortunately Dr P is away tomorrow and also next Monday so another Dr will be doing the scan and possibly the insemination depending on how the follicle grows. I'm a little disappointed about this but I can't blame her for wanting a long weekend with her family :). The biggest thing I'm concerned about is that this other Dr is unfamiliar with my cervix which has a 180 degree turn she'll need to negotiate. I was already dreading the process without having a new person poking and prodding around down there trying to figure it out. So just between you and me ... I am kinda hoping my follicle takes it's time growing so we can inseminate on Tuesday with Dr P ;).

Apart from that, I'm still doing my injections and have it down to a fine art now. I have a nice little row of dots across my tummy :). Scout wanted me to make a smiley face with them lol. Maybe next cycle :).

The caravan park we are staying at is pretty average but the girls are loving the freedom of being out and about on their own around the park riding their bikes and making and playing with new friends. They love it when we go away with the camper. It's actually a tent trailer we bought a few years ago and use quite a bit. Unfortunately the site we are on at the moment is on a bit of a slope, so sleeping at night feels like you're constantly on the verge of rolling out of bed! The joys of camping!

Today we are off to Wilsons Prom for the day which should be good and hopefully tonight we'll get in a bit of fishing :). It's nice to be on holidays ... Even if I am spending more time driving than kicking back a the camp site!