9dp2dt

This TWW is dragging! I am trying my best not to think too much about it but it's hard, especially at night if Scout is working and I'm home on my own with the girls. I am starting to think more about the sticks in the cupboard but I'm alittle scared of them to be honest. On the one hand it's tempting knowing how easy it would be to do it and then at least we'd have some idea about the possible outcome before the blood test, but on the other hand, seeing another BFN is going to be difficult to stomach. Right now it's still too early to test but we are getting close to the time when we can. Scout thinks we should do it Tuesday or Wednesday (the day of the blood test) next week but I have an ADO on the Monday so if we're going to do it, I'm thinking this would be better. I'll be 12dp2dt then and if it's a BFN at least I won't have to head off to work and put on a brave face for the day. Anyway, we'll wait and see how we feel after the weekend. The fact that we have a backup this time has really taken the pressure off, but damn I still hate the idea of waiting through yet another cycle again.

As far as symptoms go it's debatable as to whether anything I've been noticing is real or just artificially induced by the crinone I keep squirting up my twat every evening. I'm bloated and feeling 'wet' all the time to the point where I actually thought my period had arrived yesterday but nope ... I was just leaking whatever that weird watery stuff is that I seem to get when I'm on progesterone. Anyway, that's nothing new from last time, but I have noticed something that is. My boobs hurt. They felt weird yesterday - alittle tender and tingley - but today they are sore. They ache even just lying down in bed on my back with nothing touching them. And they definately weren't like this last time ... But again this could just be the progesterone playing with me. I've also noticed my sense of taste and smell is alittle different but Scout keeps reminding me it's too early for these kinds of symptoms so I am trying not to read too much into it. It's interesting just how much weird stuff you start to notice about your body when you're paying such close attention in a TWW. Anyway ... Fingers crossed my brain isn't just playing with me and things are actually different this time. Time will tell I guess! My period is due some time over the next few days and I am starting to get the odd moment of cramps here and there which is unsettling. Hopefully everything will stay put and we don't end up with a rude visit ahead of schedule.

One week down, one to go ...

It's now 7dpiui and we're doing ok although today really dragged. I don't feel like I have any real stand out 'symptoms' to report but I have been ridiculously vigilant looking for signs! lol. A couple of days post IUI I had a weird feeling of what can only be described as "fullness" down there for a number of days. That was definately something I've never felt before and was weird. Scout laughed at me and didn't believe me but it seriously lasted at least 3 days. I've also had a bit of ovary or kidney pain which I thought might have been an infection or something from the IUI at first. It's like a faint throbbing / cramping / ache. I found myself needing to go to the toilet a bit too but nothing seems to have come of it. I still get it from time to time which has made me a little worried about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy - especially given my endo scarring in and around the right tube - but I'm trying not to think too much about it. And of course today I was super tired, but I have 2 kids and work full time so of course I'm tired! Essentially ... I don't really have anything exciting to report in the symptom department but I guess it is only day 7 :) At least my temp is still nice and high and it even rose a bit more this morning so I'm happy with that. AF is due on the 30th and our plan is to resist the temptation to test till then, but if tomorrow is anything like today, that is going to be hard.

I also had my first Pregnyl shot on Friday and was half expecting that to give me a few symptoms too but nup. I do my second one tomorrow and then we wait. One more week to go :)

IUI Complete :)

Our first IUI took place yesterday afternoon :) And it all went just fine! My doctor left lots of info and directions about my cervix issues for her stand-in who also came up with a few tricks of her own, and all that together helped to pull off the IUI without anesthetic and limited pain. I was thrilled to say the least. And Scout managed to get there in time for it too even though she had to come in from work. So I couldn't have been happier :)

This morning I didn't get the temp spike I was hoping for, but it did rise above all my other temps so that's something I guess. So after all that worry about blowing this cycle, I actually think the timing wasn't as bad as I thought (although fertility friend doesn't agree but she's a fickle thing so she may well change her mind tomorrow!) Anyway, even if this cycle doesn't result in a BFP, I think we gave our first IUI a good shot :). And now I start the TTW which I still can't believe I am finally in. It will be interesting to see how I go. I'll be doing two shots of Pregnyl over the course of the wait and my blood test is scheduled for 4th May. Because of the Pregnyl I should really try to wait till 14dpo to POAS but I imagine that will be very hard to do!

Even though it's been a bit of a crazy cycle I feel good that we've had our first go. We're both realistic about our chances (which aren't great), but we are going to try to stay positive and just see what happens. At some point we will have to think about our next step and whether we try one more IUI or just jump to IVF if we get a BFN - but right now I am just going to try and enjoy the idea that we may still get lucky!

And just as a side note I have to say that this insemination has had us thinking a lot about our donor again and just how grateful we are that there's a guy out there who was generous enough to donate so that we could give this a try :). It's an amazing gift to be given.