2DT

They're in! Despite feeling alot more uncomfortable post pick up this time around, all went well with the transfer this morning. The look on the embryologist's face had me a bit worried when we first walked in. They must tell them to have an unemotive expression or something. Anyway, her face looked pretty solemn which had me expecting the worst but instead the results were great! Of the 7 eggs, 6 were mature, 5 fertilized, and 4 are growing nicely :). Yay!!! We had two 5-cell embryos put back (2DT) and are waiting to see if the other 2 make it to the freezer (please please please!). Our FS was really happy with the result and of course we are wrapped. So I'm relieved that all the extra focus on egg quality this time appears to have actually paid off so far, but time will tell I guess.

It was alot more painful getting the catheter in this time. I yelped and just about lept off the table but once she got around the kink in my cervix I was fine. If we need to go through another transfer though, she said I'll probably need to have the dilatation done again first. Fingers crossed we won't need to do that.

The decision to put two back was instigated by our FS after our last transfer failed. We don't necessarily want twins but if it happens, it happens. Scout reckons she doesn't mind if we end up with two as long as one is a boy LOL. I think it's just so difficult physically, emotionally and financially going through IVF and after only having one decent embryo last time, we decided if we got lucky enough to get more than one this time, we didn't want to waste them. The other two embryos may not make it to the freezer or through a thaw, so rather than wait for a possible BFN from 1 and risk possibly losing all the other 3 (and then having to start all over again!), we thought we'd at least use two. Anyway, if we end up with twins we will no doubt experience another type of physical, emotional and financial trauma but we'll cross that bridge if/when we come to it!

So at the end of the transfer our FS wished us luck (which I think was more directed at Scout having to put up with me on the progesterone!) and sent us on our way. The rest of today, I've spent at home with my feet up but I'll need to do a few things for work at some point. I've had the last 3 days off and only went in for an hour this morning to get some work to bring home with me, so I'll spend some time on that in another hour or so. My ovaries are still really sore and quite painful at times especially when my bladder or bowel needs emptying. It eased off yesterday but it's back with a vengeance today. Hopefully it will be better come tomorrow. Apart from all that I have a reflexology session on Friday just prior to the supposed 'implantation' to help things along, and the blood test is booked for the 26th. Can't believe we're finally in the wait again! Will keep you posted :)

Jazz browsing the fashion mags in the waiting room

Two very hopeful mums :)

Catheter in and awaiting the embryos

One of our embryos :) Stick, little one, stick!

DejaVu

This morning went down almost exactly the same as it did in June. Same place, same faces, same drill. The only thing different was the magazines and there was an awesome recipe for chocolate and peanut butter cookies that I memorized while waiting in my little room with my blue cap, robe and dressing gown on. I'll make them sometime this week I think when I'm feeling alittle more up to it. Anyway, an egg collection is not always a great experience for alot of women and I've read alot of terrible stories, but for me I've been lucky. It went pretty good last time and this time wasn't any different. In fact ... There are a few things I love about going in for an egg collection :) 1. The toastie warm blanket they give you while you wait your turn. 2. The drugs (I love that I'm out like a light and then two seconds later I'm waking up in recovery) And 3. The juice and cookies the give you afterwards. But good stuff aside, the outcome is all you really care about and this morning it was no different from last time. They found another 7 eggs for us to play with :) and we are hoping and praying that these little eggs are the last lot I need to have sucked out of me cause as much as I love the warm blanket and the drugs and the juice and cookies ... I plan on being pregnant in 2 weeks time :) So fingers crossed these little eggs are better than the last lot and that at least one will have what it takes to go the distance. All going well, transfer will be on Wednesday and in the meantime I'm going to do my best not to worry too much about how many will or won't turn into embryos worth using.

Trigger Happy!

Finally finished the stims :) And the sniffing! No more alarms going off morning and night thank goodness. Despite feeling pretty tired and foggy on the puregon, nothing too vague or crazy happened. I did manage to loose my keys for 24 hours but amazingly it didn't send me into a total melt down which I was half expecting. I just did my trigger and now we wait. ER is at 10.30am on Monday morning. I'm excited to finally be back at this point again and am really hoping the eggs are better this time. I've had a rediculous amount of EWCM and my ovaries are definately swollen. They actually kept me awake last night and I've felt pretty uncomfortable today. I feel like a bloated balloon down there so those follicles have gotta be doing something .... surely. I'm just praying they peak at the right time so my little eggs don't end up over cooked!

Alittle under done

So of course my follies are sloooooww growers. I was hoping to get the green light for a trigger but instead I have to stick with stimming a bit longer as they're still not big enough. I now have 6 contenders (yay!) and with another 3 days of stims hopefully a few more might join the party ;). Trigger is planned for Saturday night with pick-up on Monday morning. As much as I'm chomping at the bit to get these eggs out of there, I don't want them out if they aren't ready so I just need to be patient. I'm paranoid about spontaneously ovulating despite all the sniffing and I also feel a little uncomfortable about the pick-up being delayed past when I would normally ovulate. But I worried about this sort of thing last time and it all turned out fine so I just need to have alittle faith. Two more work days to get through ...

Are we there yet?

I don't know if it's the drugs, or all the running around from appointments, or how long a cycle takes or just all the waiting and hoping involved but I feel like I'm running on a flat battery at this point. I'm literally dragging myself through each day at work and struggling to get up in the morning. I don't feel stressed at all which is good but I do feel tired. It's a noticeable struggle to get my head into work right now while I'm floating around in this puregon induced fog and the syneryl headaches are not helping. I feel really unproductive and like I'm just going through the motions. I'm distracted by the fact that collection is just around the corner and my mind and body just wants to get there. It's been such a long cycle and I want to know if it's been worth it. I just want to trigger already. Hopefully the follicles on the scan tomorrow are ready to go cos I sure as shit am.

Quality not quantity?

So my scan today was unfortunately not as good as I'd hoped or at least my FS didn't seem to think so. I'm sitting there staring at her screen trying to figure out what's what and she's measuring away not saying anything. This is typical of my FS. I really do like having her as my specialist but sometimes I just wish she would give me a bit more information. So I ask if it's looking any better than last time and she's tells me "No, unfortunately it's not as good a response". My heart sinks and I feel totally confused because I'm sure I can see a number of follicles on the screen. Then she says, "There's only 5 follicles. 4 are a good size, and the other is alittle small. There's a few more tiny ones but at this stage they won't do anything." I'm thinking ... I'm sure 5 follicles is better than last time? She then starts talking about how we collected 7 eggs last go etc and it's unlikely we'll get more than 5 this time. Then she ends the conversation with the throw away comment "it only takes one" and leaves to let me get dressed. Ok ... So I know it only takes one, and yes I should be grateful I actually have 5 potentials at this point ... and I know this comment was meant as a comment of hope ... but it annoyed me. When I'm shelling out thousands of dollars per cycle I want more than one damn it and a comment like that makes me feel that's all she thinks I'll get again. So while I'm dressing myself I feel like challenging her about the number of follicles I had last time and how I miraculously ended up with twice as many eggs as expected, but of course I let it go. When I finally come out from behind the curtain she tells me to up the puregon to 450iu (which is the maximum dose my pen will dial) and come back for another scan on Wednesday. I drive to work feeling half ok and half upset. Part of me thinks it was a good scan and believes that it was better than last time regardless of what she said and I should feel good about that, but the other part of me is stuck on the fact that my FS (who obviously knows more than I do) said it was worse. So I don't know what to think. To be honest I'd really rather just keep my head in the sand till collection at this point given my experience of scans has been pretty negative to date. I just don't need to be stressing about numbers when the bottom lines is how many actually make it to transfer. I also hate that I have these scans right before I go to work cos it makes the whole day feel pretty crap. I had to get up at 5am to make it to the scan and the rest of the day I've had a stinker of a headache from the syneryl, so tonight I think I'll just have an early night and quit thinking about what is or isn't going on in my ovaries. I'm tired already and this week has only just begun ...

Ovaries working overtime ...

The familiar feeling of bloat and swollen ovaries has started to return. I'm not sure how much action is going on down there but it's enough to make me feel less comfortable than usual and enough to make my loosest pants feel tight. Given I didn't start feeling like this till closer to trigger last time, I'm hoping this is a good sign but who knows. I really have no confidence in knowing what my body is doing right now. I've stopped going to the gym for the time being and plan to just try and do light exercise over the next few weeks. As ridiculous as it sounds, when I'm at the gym I feel like I'm going to pop a follicle or something so I think I'll just stick to walking and the exercise bike for now.

Since we've been feeling overdue for another mini getaway we decided to visit a farmstay in Bright this weekend. It's about a 4 hour drive from where we live. The girls loved being able to play with all the animals and we did lots of walking around the acres of paddocks exploring. We tried fishing in their dam which was apparently stocked but nothing was biting. The cottage we stayed in was freezing but the bed was cozy and warm so it was nice to sleep in for a bit which we rarely get to do. We also stopped at one of our favourite fishing spots on the way back so Scout could finally catch a fish which was long overdue.

Tomorrow I head back to the IVF clinic for another scan to see if all this bloat and discomfort actually equates to more follicles this time around. It will be day 10 and my last IVF scan at day 10 only showed 2 real contenders and 4 smaller follicles so I'm hoping the results of this scan will be little better. Fingers crossed!  Anyway, here is some pics from our weekend :)