Sharing with others

We've had an interesting week.  Last Sunday (3 days after our 6 week scan) we had a visit from our friends who have also been TTC for the past 2 years.  We haven't seen or talked to them in awhile and were hoping their visit was to tell us they were well on their way through a pregnancy but unfortunately that wasn't the case.  They have had numerous miscarriages and the latest has pretty much taken them to the limits of what they can bare.  I am devastated for them and all the heartache they've been through.   In a last ditch effort they have decided to try one more time and switch who will carry.  We are hoping and praying it will make the difference for them because they have seriously been through enough.   Although it's fortunate that they do have the option of switching who will carry, it was clearly a painful decision to make.  To go through so much that you finally reach a point where you choose to accept that your body cannot and will not carry a baby is huge.  I really feel for them.  Needless to say we did not share our news with them and if our little one does go the distance, it will be hard to tell them.  I know they will be happy for us, but I also know that any happiness for us will be mixed with a lot of sadness for them.   

My mum also came to visit this week.  At first she sounded like she was just going to pop in for a quick hello and I kinda cracked it with her over the phone.  We hardly get to see her so I wanted to be able to spend a bit of time with her while she was in town and I also wanted her to spend time with Scout and the girls too.  Popping in one evening on a weekday to say hi when she's spent days hanging out with her partners friends is not good enough, so being my overly emotional pregnant self, I had a bit of an angry rant which turned into tears on the phone.   Fortunately that was enough to get her to change her plans and spend some time with us but I was disappointed that it took a mini meltdown on the phone to get her to check her priorities.  Anyway we told her our news on the second day she was with us.  I kinda chickened out on the first day.  If she'd known we were trying it would have been easier but it felt a bit like coming-out to some extent about TTC!  Needless to say she was pretty shocked.  I think she had long given up on me ever giving her a grandchild (apart from the girls that is), so it took her a little bit to process it all but in the end she seemed genuinely happy for us.  She also mentioned in the conversations that followed that she actually went through menopause at 41 which I wasn't aware of.  So I guess it's not surprising my egg quality is as shit as it is given I'm potentially 2 years away from that myself.  Scary.  

Anyway ... We are now 7 weeks 5 days, and our second scan is just a few days away.  Fingers crossed everything is still going fine in there.  I am now pretty much nauseous on and off all day, every day.  It's unpleasant but I'm not about to complain.  What I feel like I can handle eating one day, is no good the next.  I haven't puked yet but I've come close.  Scout's been waiting for the day it finally happens.  Yesterday she told me she's a sympathetic chucker so she won't be able to hold my hair when my head's in the toilet bowl but she'll be right there with me 'in spirit' lol.  She makes me laugh.  I feel very lucky to be going through this with a female partner who knows what it's like.  She is constantly looking for ways to look after me or make me feel better, like having hard lollies for me to suck on when I suddenly get sick in the car :).  She came home with donuts the other day thinking I would be all over them since she ate donuts a lot when she was pregnant, but unfortunately my stomach was not up for it.  She was so disappointed that her little plan to surprise me had backfired.  We also had a look at some maternity pants not long ago that she wanted me to buy but I said no cos I didn't need them yet.  She pretty much told me "That's fine, I'll just buy them for you when you're not looking and hide them in the cupboard till the day you are standing in front of the mirror crying that you have nothing to wear and then I'll look good when I whip them out and make your day" lol.  She's the best.  I am so lucky to have her :). Anyway thanks everyone who commented on our scan pic the other week. I'll post again after our next scan on Thursday.