Show me the donors!

We had our first counseling appointment at our IVF clinic 2 weeks ago.   Scout got the time wrong and almost didn’t get there in time … but thankfully she did in the end J  The counselor got our names mixed up right from the start and continued to call us by each others’ name for most of the session despite numerous corrections.  It was a weird process.  She initially asked what we did for a living and then asked Scout how she thought she would handle having a child LOL.  I imagine that question was probably for me but since she had us so mixed up I was more than happy for Scout to let her in on the fact that we already have two girls and have a pretty good idea of what we’re in for.  After that she pretty much talked ‘at us’ for the rest of it.  She asked about what kind of donor we were looking for and if I had an issue with conceiving a child with the sperm of someone I didn’t know, but apart from that the rest of the conversation was really just her explaining the donor program, how many donors they have, how many we would get to choose from and other random information about how they recruit donors.  She gave us an information pack and sent us on our way with some forms to fill in and bring back for our next session.  It was a bit strange, and not what I would consider to be counseling but it’s all part of the process I guess.   The best bit is we get to see the donor profiles next time we come in!  J  Apparently they have a waitlist for donors at the moment so when they do offer us some profiles it will only be a small selection to choose from … probably 3 tops.  It’s a little disappointing that we don’t get much choice – especially when we look online and see all the donors you can choose from overseas.  But the unfortunate reality is there isn’t many Aussie donors around and you can’t import sperm into Victoria without jumping through some pretty impossible hoops, so this is our only choice if we want to get our hands on some sperm! 

After our counseling appointment we had a financial session with one of the patient liaison officers who pretty much flew through the fine print of how much we could be up for and how to pay it.  She basically sat us down, hit us with the figures and sent us on our way again as quickly as possible.  We already had a bit of an idea about how much it was going to cost us, so it wasn’t too much of a shock, but it was confirmation that this is going to be a very costly adventure which is going to challenge us financially.  Knowing how difficult this is going to be for us financially makes it even more annoying that we can’t access Medicare for help because we don’t have a diagnosis of infertility.  If I had a male partner with no swimmers then I would be eligible for a Medicare rebate on at least some of these procedures, but because I have a female partner (also with no swimmers – clearly) we don’t get anything.  So this whole thing is going to cost us a whole lot more than it would if we were a heterosexual couple.  For all we know – we may actually be infertile, but since we can’t “try” on our own for 6-12 months to see what happens, we will just have throw money at trying to find out.   I know I shouldn’t complain too much though … At least it’s legal for us to access the services of an IVF clinic in Victoria now!  Hopefully we will get lucky and get pregnant before we go broke J

So … we have filled in our little ‘Donor Recipient’ forms and are all set to find out what donors we get to choose from tomorrow!  I keep telling myself that whatever donor we choose will be the right one for us regardless of the limited choice.  As long as we ‘like’ as least one of the donors, I’ll be happy.   Scout says she doesn’t care who the donor is as long as they can get me pregnant LOL.  There won’t be any photos and the information they provide is pretty basic, so essentially we’ll be looking for someone who just sounds good on paper.  If I was to come up with preferences, it would probably be someone with blonde hair, blue or green eyes, who isn’t too tall or short and has a good medical history.  Someone with a personality and interests’ compatible with our family would also be good but I doubt we will get lucky enough to get someone that fits all that criteria.  Too be honest, that’s really just the ideal, but we don’t really want to have too many expectations cos it’s likely we’ll just be disappointed if we do.  When there's only a few to choose from, we can't be too picky.  I’m just excited to be finally finding out our donor options.   I hope our Nan’s in heaven whisper in the ears of whoever is pulling up our selection, to make sure we gets some good ones!  The clinic have charged their sperm donor management fee ($1725) to my account today so I guess that means we have offically purchased sperm we need for at least 2 IUIs! Can't believe we finally have access to the stuff we need to make this happen :)