Wednesday, 24 July 2013
Progesterone Mind Games
Had another blood test and my progesterone is now at a very respectable 61. FS wants me to stick with the 400mg pessaries twice daily which I'm ok with. It's not as messy as the crinone and I don't smell all hormoney like I did when I was on that. It does cost a bit ... but I guess time will tell if it's been worth it. The high doses have me loaded up with progesterone symptoms which I am trying to ignore. Seriously messes with my head. I am currently 6dp2dt. If our little embies are gonna stick, this is the time.
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Post 101
Who knew I'd still be TTC after this many posts? Crazy ... or at least I think that's what I might be starting to become! We took the girls to see 'Despicable Me 2' last night at the movies and now the girls are minion crazy so this morning we decided to make some out of balloons and toilet rolls. I was coping ok right up until the balloon for Jazz's purple minion kept leaking and every replacement I made kept popping. I could feel my agitation growing but instead of taking a break I just kept going because I wanted to get the last one finished. Anyway long story short, the balloons were old and not being my friend and when the last one exploded so did I. Bloody balloons. Scout had to send me to bed where I proceeded to burst into tears. Seriously felt like I was having an anxiety attack lying there in bed ... all over a bit of arts and crafts with the kids! Crazy hormones ... Anyway hopefully they're doing whatever they're suppose to be doing. Here's a pic of the girls with their finished Minions, thanks to Scout :). The purple one's look a bit like me in an IVF cycle ...
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Embies 8 & 9 deployed
Transfer was a little painful and I've had a bit of spotting since. My cervix must be starting to narrow again. The good news is 8 & 9 thawed beautifully and were apparently multiplying and dividing again at 5 and 7 cells. Scout was with me for the transfer. Earlier in the week it was looking like she might not be able to make it but she did :). We had to drive there separately and the traffic was a nightmare. They always ask me to get there 30mins before the appointment time to sign paperwork (which takes 2mins) and then my FS didn't show up till 30mins after when the appointment was suppose to be, so essentially we were waiting around for nearly an hour for the transfer after stressing in traffic for 70mins! I had bloods taken and they rang me this afternoon to say my progesterone was 15 which is apparently little low, so they've put me on 400mg pessaries twice daily. The Crinone gel I was previously on was only 90mg daily and I was pretty bad on that so I suspect Scout is in for a rough ride over the next 2 weeks. Fingers crossed it makes a difference. Beta is due Aug 1.
Monday, 15 July 2013
Surging hormones
I've started and then deleted a number of posts over the last week and I'm putting it all down to hormones making me alittle crazy. I'm in a natural cycle without all the drugs I'm usually on, but for some reason I am coping worse this cycle than ever before. My anxiety has been through the roof over the last 24 hours to the point where I feel like I'm already grieving a BFN and we haven't even gotten to transfer yet. I've been freaking out about my surge being delayed, angry that I feel like I'm floating along in this cycle on my own without any FS running the show and this morning I pretty much burst into tears because the nurse couldn't answer my question about what drugs I needed to pick up for luteal phase support. Thankfully my bloods from this morning confirmed a surge and I've managed to pull myself together enough to realise it's the rising hormones that's got me over-reacting about literally everything. I seriously don't ever recall being this emotional around ovulation. I'm fed up with my clinic, my FS and all my repeated failures at this IVF crap. I'm also angry with myself for not demanding more from these people and putting up with such little progress in treatment to date. I was so traumatised by that last BFN. It took me a long time to even think about doing IVF again without crying and now I feel like I'm experiencing some kind of Pavlovian response from being in a cycle again. Essentially I'm a bit of a basket case at the moment ... but apparently I'm good to go for a transfer this Thursday. AND shock horror, my FS is actually requesting more bloods post transfer to monitor my progesterone levels this time. I am praying for her to give me something ... ANYTHING different to do to get through this cycle.
Saturday, 6 July 2013
Hope and putting it out there
We are now in our 5th IVF cycle, doing a natural thaw to put back the last of our embies. Today is day 6. I start using OPKs on Tuesday (just to make sure I don't miss an early ovulation) and have a scan on Wednesday (day 10) to make sure my uterus and ovaries and doing the right thing. My last few cycles have been super short probably because of the weight loss / diet and exercise so I've been backing off on both for the last 2 weeks. This last period was the shortest I've ever had. I'm hoping this is a good thing and not a sign of pre-menopause (which would be just fucking dandy). My clinic has been in fine form needing to be chased to do their job again. First I had to chase up the admin people about confirming the cost of the cycle, then I needed to chase the nurse to get orders for the cycle from my FS, then I had to chase my FS's receptionist about getting back to me with an appointment for a scan with another FS since Dr P will be on holidays for the first half of my cycle. It never ceases to amaze me how much I am paying for such a rediculously disorganised service. Fortunately at this point I am relatively indifferent about the whole thing. I just want to get this cycle out of the way so we can move on to greener pastures. Our new specialist sounds awesome and I can't wait to meet her on 13th August. I am looking forward to being tested for everything under the sun so we can be clear there isn't anything else we should be addressing ... which I suspect there is. My current FS has been reluctant to do further tests re: immune issues etc until I've had at least 8 embryos fail to implant. Given I've had 7 fail and if/when the next 2 follow suit we will be up to 9 ... I think we've wasted more than enough time, money and eggs/embryos meeting this rediculous criteria. I just want to be tested and want to try something new.
Fertility crap aside, everyone in our house has been sick with the flu and I have been lucky last to finally get it so I have had the last few days off work and am resting up to try and get over it before we get to transfer. The girls have been on holidays, so Scout has been working a lot on weekends and at night to keep all the balls in the air. As much as we have been trying to save in preparation for the next few rounds of IVF, we have had too many other random expenses come up lately to make much headway. It basically comes down to hoping we get a kick arse tax return which I think we will get given how much money we spent over the last 12 months on medical/IVF expenses. Fingers crossed that's how it plays out anyway.
Apart from that I don't have much else worth sharing right now from my own little world. Too be honest, after hearing the news that Lex from CrazyLesbianMum is currently fighting the fight of her life right after being diagnosed with cancer in both her colon and liver ... our day to day issues at home and with TTC just feel small and irrelevant and hardly worth mentioning. I am so shocked, saddened and just plain devastated for this woman and what's happened to her and I don't even know her. I can't imagine what her and her family must be going through right now. I just wish and hope the prayers of the collective of people behind her give her the hope, strength, and healing she needs to both fight and win this battle. I feel frustrated that as human beings, we can't give the gift of healing to someone by simply wishing it for them. I feel frustrated that diseases like this still exist in this world and continue to randomly steal away the lives of people we love and care about. It's just.not.fair. So for Lex and the two other people I cared about who are currently facing a similar situation, I am thinking you and I hope and pray that someone upstairs offers up the miracles I know each of you could do with right about now x
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Better late than never?
I know I promised photos a while ago now. It's taken me ages to get around to pulling them off my phone/pad to upload them but today I finally did! We have a bit of a digital photo disaster going on in our house at the moment. There are so many and they are captured and stored on so many different devices it's a bit of a nightmare trying to pull them all together sometimes. But today I managed to at least sort the photos from our fishing trip so I'll post a few on here. As for the million other photos ... I really need to sit down and spend a few hours or (more likely days!) cleaning them up sometime. But who has time for that?!
Over the past few months Scout's business has started to take off and we are both constantly chasing our tails trying to adjust to us both working now. Suddenly just staying on top of washing, cleaning and grocery shopping is challenging. The girls are spending more time in after school care now so they aren't getting picked up till I finish work and it's a push to get them home, bathed, dinner cooked, fed, homework done and into bed all in the space of an hour or so. I feel bad that the girls are missing out on free time at home now after school and because it's winter they are getting home in the dark, but they have been relatively good about it so I'm grateful for that. Scout and I are still trying to lose weight although some days it feels like all our efforts are in vain. Since we are so busy with work we are having to exercise at home at night after the girls go to bed and it's really the last thing I want to do after working all day but I am doing my best to stick at it. We have both lost around 10 kilos now. I was hoping for a few more off by this point but in hindsight that was probably a little unrealistic of me. I start my next IVF cycle in 2 weeks so I will have to back off a bit during that and just hope and pray the weight doesn't all come back again with the drugs.
Yesterday I turned 39 and as much as I was not looking forward to this birthday, I've been so spoilt it's actually been a really lovely birthday. Scout has been working most weekends lately so I hadn't expected to be doing much but she surprised me with an overnight stay down the coast kid free ;). It was so lovely. I took the girls to swimming lessons Saturday morning while Scout was supposedly getting ready for work. She called me just as their lesson ended asking me to come home in a hurry because her car had a flat battery and she needed to get to work. I raced home and was getting the jumper leads out to jump her car when she called me inside and confessed that she had lied about her car because she wanted me to come straight home. She told me to pack a bag because she was taking me away for a night :). We dropped the girls off at Scouts mums place and then drove for about 2 hours to a little getaway down the coast. Scout had rented us a little log cabin near the beach. When we walked in, I could see the table had been set for us and in the kitchen there was a yummy beef burgundy bubbling away in a slow cooker ready for us to eat! It was wonderful! We enjoyed the open fireplace and spa and watched a movie and drank wine and just relaxed. We had a late check out the next day and didn't have to pick up the girls till that evening. Then we both took the day off work yesterday for my actual birthday and just hung out together while the girls were at school. It was nice to just spend time together on our own for a bit ... right up until the school rang and told us Charlie had hurt her neck, was bleeding and needed to be picked up. By the time we got there Jazz was also in the sick bay having just had her two bottom teeth ripped out in a separate incident! So we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening dealing with that but I am glad to report both are ok now. Jazz got $2 from the tooth fairy over night and Charlie had today day off school to rest. Her neck is badly grazed but she'll live. The joys of accident prone children!
Anyway ... I will leave you with some pics as promised and will hopefully blog again soon when we start our next cycle. I really don't want to have to spend all of 39 TTC so lets hope we have one either on the way or here by this time next year!
 |
| Fishing in the early morning just outside Mallacoota |
 |
| This emu would not leave Scout alone! |
 |
| Having a nap in the afternoon by Wallagaraugh river. |
 |
| Narooma - one of our favourite places :) |
 |
| Low tide at Durras North |
 |
| Our best day fishing at Tuross Head |
 |
| Sunset at Batemans Bay |
 |
| The girls at Howqua |
 |
| Charlie on the kayak with Grandad |
 |
| My birthday getaway :) |
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Slack
I have been a bad blogger :( But I'm hoping it's a good sign! My brain has been processing a lot of things other than baby making which is good. I was getting so depressed by the whole IVF thing that I really needed a decent break. The small breaks inbetween cycles didn't really cut it. I was still trying to be good with foods and supplements and not drinking alcohol or coffee or anything with artificial sweeteners. I was always wondering if maybe I was pregnant even though I'd gotten a BFN, and was too scared to stop everything 'just in case'. But deciding to take 4 months off has let me finally switch my brain off and stop everything which has been the best thing I could have done. I just feel ... relieved, and more myself again. To be honest... I was that fragile after the last BFN I wouldn't have coped with trying again. I got teary everytime I even thought about it and it's only in the last few weeks that I haven't felt that. It helped a lot that Scout and I could get away for 2 weeks on our own while the girls were away.
Our fishing trip involved a lot fishing but not so much fish lol. We did have one really good afternoon at a little place called Tuross where we had fish literally jumping on the line but everywhere else was fairly average. Out of the whole trip we only kept and ate two flathead. The rest we tossed back. We both just enjoyed having time together, getting out on the boat and visiting new places. As nice as it was, it was good to get home to a real bed though. We only spent one night in a cabin and the rest was spent in a tent or the back of the car so our bodies were crying out for a decent mattress!
Now that the girls are home and I'm back at work it's been a bit of an adjustment getting back into the swing of things. We went away for a long weekend in Howqua with the girls and Scout's parents which was fun (more fishing! and a bit of mini golf ;). Scout and I have also starting trying to lose weight (a personal goal rather than a baby making one). We've both put on a bit of weight over the past 12 mths so we've decided it's time to get serious and do something about it. So far I've lost 6 kilos and Scout has lost 7! We both have at least another 10 to go. I feel pretty confident we can do it ... Especially since I'm not doing IVF again until July. The real challenge will be figuring out how to keep it off when I do start IVF again cos it seriously makes me both fat and depressed.
The only TTC thing I am still doing at this point is keeping up my reflexology sessions which I figure is good for managing work stress. My reflexologist is alittle puzzled as to why I'm still not pregnant and has encouraged me to try another clinic which we have been looking into anyway. I have chosen a new specialist and made an appointment with her for the 13th August. I picked this date as it will be approx a week after the beta for our last planned FET with our current clinic. As negative as it sounds to be expecting a BFN I can't see any reason why this next cycle will be any different from the others. We need to plan for this next step and I am actually looking forward to changing things up a bit - including getting a new donor.
Anyway ... I have heaps of pics I want to post but haven't got my act together yet with uploading them which is another reason I've been delaying his post. I'll try to get them up sometime this weekend. Hope all is well with everyone lose out there ;)
Our fishing trip involved a lot fishing but not so much fish lol. We did have one really good afternoon at a little place called Tuross where we had fish literally jumping on the line but everywhere else was fairly average. Out of the whole trip we only kept and ate two flathead. The rest we tossed back. We both just enjoyed having time together, getting out on the boat and visiting new places. As nice as it was, it was good to get home to a real bed though. We only spent one night in a cabin and the rest was spent in a tent or the back of the car so our bodies were crying out for a decent mattress!
Now that the girls are home and I'm back at work it's been a bit of an adjustment getting back into the swing of things. We went away for a long weekend in Howqua with the girls and Scout's parents which was fun (more fishing! and a bit of mini golf ;). Scout and I have also starting trying to lose weight (a personal goal rather than a baby making one). We've both put on a bit of weight over the past 12 mths so we've decided it's time to get serious and do something about it. So far I've lost 6 kilos and Scout has lost 7! We both have at least another 10 to go. I feel pretty confident we can do it ... Especially since I'm not doing IVF again until July. The real challenge will be figuring out how to keep it off when I do start IVF again cos it seriously makes me both fat and depressed.
The only TTC thing I am still doing at this point is keeping up my reflexology sessions which I figure is good for managing work stress. My reflexologist is alittle puzzled as to why I'm still not pregnant and has encouraged me to try another clinic which we have been looking into anyway. I have chosen a new specialist and made an appointment with her for the 13th August. I picked this date as it will be approx a week after the beta for our last planned FET with our current clinic. As negative as it sounds to be expecting a BFN I can't see any reason why this next cycle will be any different from the others. We need to plan for this next step and I am actually looking forward to changing things up a bit - including getting a new donor.
Anyway ... I have heaps of pics I want to post but haven't got my act together yet with uploading them which is another reason I've been delaying his post. I'll try to get them up sometime this weekend. Hope all is well with everyone lose out there ;)
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Wednesday, 24 July 2013
Progesterone Mind Games
Had another blood test and my progesterone is now at a very respectable 61. FS wants me to stick with the 400mg pessaries twice daily which I'm ok with. It's not as messy as the crinone and I don't smell all hormoney like I did when I was on that. It does cost a bit ... but I guess time will tell if it's been worth it. The high doses have me loaded up with progesterone symptoms which I am trying to ignore. Seriously messes with my head. I am currently 6dp2dt. If our little embies are gonna stick, this is the time.
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Post 101
Who knew I'd still be TTC after this many posts? Crazy ... or at least I think that's what I might be starting to become! We took the girls to see 'Despicable Me 2' last night at the movies and now the girls are minion crazy so this morning we decided to make some out of balloons and toilet rolls. I was coping ok right up until the balloon for Jazz's purple minion kept leaking and every replacement I made kept popping. I could feel my agitation growing but instead of taking a break I just kept going because I wanted to get the last one finished. Anyway long story short, the balloons were old and not being my friend and when the last one exploded so did I. Bloody balloons. Scout had to send me to bed where I proceeded to burst into tears. Seriously felt like I was having an anxiety attack lying there in bed ... all over a bit of arts and crafts with the kids! Crazy hormones ... Anyway hopefully they're doing whatever they're suppose to be doing. Here's a pic of the girls with their finished Minions, thanks to Scout :). The purple one's look a bit like me in an IVF cycle ...
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Embies 8 & 9 deployed
Transfer was a little painful and I've had a bit of spotting since. My cervix must be starting to narrow again. The good news is 8 & 9 thawed beautifully and were apparently multiplying and dividing again at 5 and 7 cells. Scout was with me for the transfer. Earlier in the week it was looking like she might not be able to make it but she did :). We had to drive there separately and the traffic was a nightmare. They always ask me to get there 30mins before the appointment time to sign paperwork (which takes 2mins) and then my FS didn't show up till 30mins after when the appointment was suppose to be, so essentially we were waiting around for nearly an hour for the transfer after stressing in traffic for 70mins! I had bloods taken and they rang me this afternoon to say my progesterone was 15 which is apparently little low, so they've put me on 400mg pessaries twice daily. The Crinone gel I was previously on was only 90mg daily and I was pretty bad on that so I suspect Scout is in for a rough ride over the next 2 weeks. Fingers crossed it makes a difference. Beta is due Aug 1.
Monday, 15 July 2013
Surging hormones
I've started and then deleted a number of posts over the last week and I'm putting it all down to hormones making me alittle crazy. I'm in a natural cycle without all the drugs I'm usually on, but for some reason I am coping worse this cycle than ever before. My anxiety has been through the roof over the last 24 hours to the point where I feel like I'm already grieving a BFN and we haven't even gotten to transfer yet. I've been freaking out about my surge being delayed, angry that I feel like I'm floating along in this cycle on my own without any FS running the show and this morning I pretty much burst into tears because the nurse couldn't answer my question about what drugs I needed to pick up for luteal phase support. Thankfully my bloods from this morning confirmed a surge and I've managed to pull myself together enough to realise it's the rising hormones that's got me over-reacting about literally everything. I seriously don't ever recall being this emotional around ovulation. I'm fed up with my clinic, my FS and all my repeated failures at this IVF crap. I'm also angry with myself for not demanding more from these people and putting up with such little progress in treatment to date. I was so traumatised by that last BFN. It took me a long time to even think about doing IVF again without crying and now I feel like I'm experiencing some kind of Pavlovian response from being in a cycle again. Essentially I'm a bit of a basket case at the moment ... but apparently I'm good to go for a transfer this Thursday. AND shock horror, my FS is actually requesting more bloods post transfer to monitor my progesterone levels this time. I am praying for her to give me something ... ANYTHING different to do to get through this cycle.
Saturday, 6 July 2013
Hope and putting it out there
We are now in our 5th IVF cycle, doing a natural thaw to put back the last of our embies. Today is day 6. I start using OPKs on Tuesday (just to make sure I don't miss an early ovulation) and have a scan on Wednesday (day 10) to make sure my uterus and ovaries and doing the right thing. My last few cycles have been super short probably because of the weight loss / diet and exercise so I've been backing off on both for the last 2 weeks. This last period was the shortest I've ever had. I'm hoping this is a good thing and not a sign of pre-menopause (which would be just fucking dandy). My clinic has been in fine form needing to be chased to do their job again. First I had to chase up the admin people about confirming the cost of the cycle, then I needed to chase the nurse to get orders for the cycle from my FS, then I had to chase my FS's receptionist about getting back to me with an appointment for a scan with another FS since Dr P will be on holidays for the first half of my cycle. It never ceases to amaze me how much I am paying for such a rediculously disorganised service. Fortunately at this point I am relatively indifferent about the whole thing. I just want to get this cycle out of the way so we can move on to greener pastures. Our new specialist sounds awesome and I can't wait to meet her on 13th August. I am looking forward to being tested for everything under the sun so we can be clear there isn't anything else we should be addressing ... which I suspect there is. My current FS has been reluctant to do further tests re: immune issues etc until I've had at least 8 embryos fail to implant. Given I've had 7 fail and if/when the next 2 follow suit we will be up to 9 ... I think we've wasted more than enough time, money and eggs/embryos meeting this rediculous criteria. I just want to be tested and want to try something new.
Fertility crap aside, everyone in our house has been sick with the flu and I have been lucky last to finally get it so I have had the last few days off work and am resting up to try and get over it before we get to transfer. The girls have been on holidays, so Scout has been working a lot on weekends and at night to keep all the balls in the air. As much as we have been trying to save in preparation for the next few rounds of IVF, we have had too many other random expenses come up lately to make much headway. It basically comes down to hoping we get a kick arse tax return which I think we will get given how much money we spent over the last 12 months on medical/IVF expenses. Fingers crossed that's how it plays out anyway.
Apart from that I don't have much else worth sharing right now from my own little world. Too be honest, after hearing the news that Lex from CrazyLesbianMum is currently fighting the fight of her life right after being diagnosed with cancer in both her colon and liver ... our day to day issues at home and with TTC just feel small and irrelevant and hardly worth mentioning. I am so shocked, saddened and just plain devastated for this woman and what's happened to her and I don't even know her. I can't imagine what her and her family must be going through right now. I just wish and hope the prayers of the collective of people behind her give her the hope, strength, and healing she needs to both fight and win this battle. I feel frustrated that as human beings, we can't give the gift of healing to someone by simply wishing it for them. I feel frustrated that diseases like this still exist in this world and continue to randomly steal away the lives of people we love and care about. It's just.not.fair. So for Lex and the two other people I cared about who are currently facing a similar situation, I am thinking you and I hope and pray that someone upstairs offers up the miracles I know each of you could do with right about now x
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Better late than never?
I know I promised photos a while ago now. It's taken me ages to get around to pulling them off my phone/pad to upload them but today I finally did! We have a bit of a digital photo disaster going on in our house at the moment. There are so many and they are captured and stored on so many different devices it's a bit of a nightmare trying to pull them all together sometimes. But today I managed to at least sort the photos from our fishing trip so I'll post a few on here. As for the million other photos ... I really need to sit down and spend a few hours or (more likely days!) cleaning them up sometime. But who has time for that?!
Over the past few months Scout's business has started to take off and we are both constantly chasing our tails trying to adjust to us both working now. Suddenly just staying on top of washing, cleaning and grocery shopping is challenging. The girls are spending more time in after school care now so they aren't getting picked up till I finish work and it's a push to get them home, bathed, dinner cooked, fed, homework done and into bed all in the space of an hour or so. I feel bad that the girls are missing out on free time at home now after school and because it's winter they are getting home in the dark, but they have been relatively good about it so I'm grateful for that. Scout and I are still trying to lose weight although some days it feels like all our efforts are in vain. Since we are so busy with work we are having to exercise at home at night after the girls go to bed and it's really the last thing I want to do after working all day but I am doing my best to stick at it. We have both lost around 10 kilos now. I was hoping for a few more off by this point but in hindsight that was probably a little unrealistic of me. I start my next IVF cycle in 2 weeks so I will have to back off a bit during that and just hope and pray the weight doesn't all come back again with the drugs.
Yesterday I turned 39 and as much as I was not looking forward to this birthday, I've been so spoilt it's actually been a really lovely birthday. Scout has been working most weekends lately so I hadn't expected to be doing much but she surprised me with an overnight stay down the coast kid free ;). It was so lovely. I took the girls to swimming lessons Saturday morning while Scout was supposedly getting ready for work. She called me just as their lesson ended asking me to come home in a hurry because her car had a flat battery and she needed to get to work. I raced home and was getting the jumper leads out to jump her car when she called me inside and confessed that she had lied about her car because she wanted me to come straight home. She told me to pack a bag because she was taking me away for a night :). We dropped the girls off at Scouts mums place and then drove for about 2 hours to a little getaway down the coast. Scout had rented us a little log cabin near the beach. When we walked in, I could see the table had been set for us and in the kitchen there was a yummy beef burgundy bubbling away in a slow cooker ready for us to eat! It was wonderful! We enjoyed the open fireplace and spa and watched a movie and drank wine and just relaxed. We had a late check out the next day and didn't have to pick up the girls till that evening. Then we both took the day off work yesterday for my actual birthday and just hung out together while the girls were at school. It was nice to just spend time together on our own for a bit ... right up until the school rang and told us Charlie had hurt her neck, was bleeding and needed to be picked up. By the time we got there Jazz was also in the sick bay having just had her two bottom teeth ripped out in a separate incident! So we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening dealing with that but I am glad to report both are ok now. Jazz got $2 from the tooth fairy over night and Charlie had today day off school to rest. Her neck is badly grazed but she'll live. The joys of accident prone children!
Anyway ... I will leave you with some pics as promised and will hopefully blog again soon when we start our next cycle. I really don't want to have to spend all of 39 TTC so lets hope we have one either on the way or here by this time next year!
|
| Fishing in the early morning just outside Mallacoota |
|
| This emu would not leave Scout alone! |
|
| Having a nap in the afternoon by Wallagaraugh river. |
|
| Narooma - one of our favourite places :) |
|
| Low tide at Durras North |
|
| Our best day fishing at Tuross Head |
|
| Sunset at Batemans Bay |
|
| The girls at Howqua |
|
| Charlie on the kayak with Grandad |
|
| My birthday getaway :) |
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Slack
I have been a bad blogger :( But I'm hoping it's a good sign! My brain has been processing a lot of things other than baby making which is good. I was getting so depressed by the whole IVF thing that I really needed a decent break. The small breaks inbetween cycles didn't really cut it. I was still trying to be good with foods and supplements and not drinking alcohol or coffee or anything with artificial sweeteners. I was always wondering if maybe I was pregnant even though I'd gotten a BFN, and was too scared to stop everything 'just in case'. But deciding to take 4 months off has let me finally switch my brain off and stop everything which has been the best thing I could have done. I just feel ... relieved, and more myself again. To be honest... I was that fragile after the last BFN I wouldn't have coped with trying again. I got teary everytime I even thought about it and it's only in the last few weeks that I haven't felt that. It helped a lot that Scout and I could get away for 2 weeks on our own while the girls were away.
Our fishing trip involved a lot fishing but not so much fish lol. We did have one really good afternoon at a little place called Tuross where we had fish literally jumping on the line but everywhere else was fairly average. Out of the whole trip we only kept and ate two flathead. The rest we tossed back. We both just enjoyed having time together, getting out on the boat and visiting new places. As nice as it was, it was good to get home to a real bed though. We only spent one night in a cabin and the rest was spent in a tent or the back of the car so our bodies were crying out for a decent mattress!
Now that the girls are home and I'm back at work it's been a bit of an adjustment getting back into the swing of things. We went away for a long weekend in Howqua with the girls and Scout's parents which was fun (more fishing! and a bit of mini golf ;). Scout and I have also starting trying to lose weight (a personal goal rather than a baby making one). We've both put on a bit of weight over the past 12 mths so we've decided it's time to get serious and do something about it. So far I've lost 6 kilos and Scout has lost 7! We both have at least another 10 to go. I feel pretty confident we can do it ... Especially since I'm not doing IVF again until July. The real challenge will be figuring out how to keep it off when I do start IVF again cos it seriously makes me both fat and depressed.
The only TTC thing I am still doing at this point is keeping up my reflexology sessions which I figure is good for managing work stress. My reflexologist is alittle puzzled as to why I'm still not pregnant and has encouraged me to try another clinic which we have been looking into anyway. I have chosen a new specialist and made an appointment with her for the 13th August. I picked this date as it will be approx a week after the beta for our last planned FET with our current clinic. As negative as it sounds to be expecting a BFN I can't see any reason why this next cycle will be any different from the others. We need to plan for this next step and I am actually looking forward to changing things up a bit - including getting a new donor.
Anyway ... I have heaps of pics I want to post but haven't got my act together yet with uploading them which is another reason I've been delaying his post. I'll try to get them up sometime this weekend. Hope all is well with everyone lose out there ;)
Our fishing trip involved a lot fishing but not so much fish lol. We did have one really good afternoon at a little place called Tuross where we had fish literally jumping on the line but everywhere else was fairly average. Out of the whole trip we only kept and ate two flathead. The rest we tossed back. We both just enjoyed having time together, getting out on the boat and visiting new places. As nice as it was, it was good to get home to a real bed though. We only spent one night in a cabin and the rest was spent in a tent or the back of the car so our bodies were crying out for a decent mattress!
Now that the girls are home and I'm back at work it's been a bit of an adjustment getting back into the swing of things. We went away for a long weekend in Howqua with the girls and Scout's parents which was fun (more fishing! and a bit of mini golf ;). Scout and I have also starting trying to lose weight (a personal goal rather than a baby making one). We've both put on a bit of weight over the past 12 mths so we've decided it's time to get serious and do something about it. So far I've lost 6 kilos and Scout has lost 7! We both have at least another 10 to go. I feel pretty confident we can do it ... Especially since I'm not doing IVF again until July. The real challenge will be figuring out how to keep it off when I do start IVF again cos it seriously makes me both fat and depressed.
The only TTC thing I am still doing at this point is keeping up my reflexology sessions which I figure is good for managing work stress. My reflexologist is alittle puzzled as to why I'm still not pregnant and has encouraged me to try another clinic which we have been looking into anyway. I have chosen a new specialist and made an appointment with her for the 13th August. I picked this date as it will be approx a week after the beta for our last planned FET with our current clinic. As negative as it sounds to be expecting a BFN I can't see any reason why this next cycle will be any different from the others. We need to plan for this next step and I am actually looking forward to changing things up a bit - including getting a new donor.
Anyway ... I have heaps of pics I want to post but haven't got my act together yet with uploading them which is another reason I've been delaying his post. I'll try to get them up sometime this weekend. Hope all is well with everyone lose out there ;)
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