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4 weeks ago
Friday, 28 September 2012
We'll just keep on truckin ...
The day after our BFN-on-a-stick I got my period. And the day after that our bfn was confirmed yet again by the blood test. It seems crazy that the one day you are so focused on and looking forward to throughout this whole process (the beta test date) usually ends up being a shit day ... A BFN day. And yet you spent so long looking forward to it?! Crazy. Not only is it disappointing to discover that you're are still not pregnant, but you feel pretty sad and even stupid knowing you've just spent 2 weeks focused on growing, nurturing and getting attached to a little embie that probably carked itself ages earlier, you just didn't know it. This whole IVF thing is certainly a strange, stressful and expensive little experiment. Anyway ... Despite getting another BFN and being sad our little embies didn't stick around, we know we should be thankful that we really did have a better outcome this cycle and we really are very lucky we can try again one more time without having to endure another full IVF cycle. So ... When I get my period again we will have another crack at it. And in the meantime I will catch up with my FS about whether or not we need to do the dilatation again. I would like to be able to say that I plan on being extra healthy and losing weight and all that crap over the next month while we wait, but honestly ... I'm tired of the constant focus on getting my body baby ready. Instead, I'm just going to focus on enjoying our little family and the children I am so lucky to already have and we'll just see what happens next :). Hope everyone else is doing ok this month. I am looking forward to some great bump pics over the next few weeks and hearing how "thing two" makes his entrance into the world over at lezbemoms!
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Friday, 28 September 2012
We'll just keep on truckin ...
The day after our BFN-on-a-stick I got my period. And the day after that our bfn was confirmed yet again by the blood test. It seems crazy that the one day you are so focused on and looking forward to throughout this whole process (the beta test date) usually ends up being a shit day ... A BFN day. And yet you spent so long looking forward to it?! Crazy. Not only is it disappointing to discover that you're are still not pregnant, but you feel pretty sad and even stupid knowing you've just spent 2 weeks focused on growing, nurturing and getting attached to a little embie that probably carked itself ages earlier, you just didn't know it. This whole IVF thing is certainly a strange, stressful and expensive little experiment. Anyway ... Despite getting another BFN and being sad our little embies didn't stick around, we know we should be thankful that we really did have a better outcome this cycle and we really are very lucky we can try again one more time without having to endure another full IVF cycle. So ... When I get my period again we will have another crack at it. And in the meantime I will catch up with my FS about whether or not we need to do the dilatation again. I would like to be able to say that I plan on being extra healthy and losing weight and all that crap over the next month while we wait, but honestly ... I'm tired of the constant focus on getting my body baby ready. Instead, I'm just going to focus on enjoying our little family and the children I am so lucky to already have and we'll just see what happens next :). Hope everyone else is doing ok this month. I am looking forward to some great bump pics over the next few weeks and hearing how "thing two" makes his entrance into the world over at lezbemoms!
4 comments:
Hi Meela, I have been reading all your posts and hoped with you guys for a BFP and I am so so sorry again.
ReplyDelete
I find it pretty difficult to comment on your blog with my phone, the captcha or whatever that thing you have to type in weird words always tells me I'm not doing it right so I end up givin it up...
Maybe you can disable it? I'm not sure I have on mine, will check that out today.
Anyway FET is such a different way of TTC and as you probably know I am all for it. Your body will be less under pressure with no big ovaries and no stims at all. It will be more kind of natural and I'm really hoping it will be the right one!
Just wondering did you think about running some test to know why your embies are not implanting? I know a couple that was going through the same and after 3 failed transfer they did some test and found out she had something called MTHFR so she did some treatment and then another FET and they got a BFP! Her blog is in spanish but I though it might be interesting...
anyway, best of luck, I think you Are going towords your FET with the right attitude.
V
Next time we see our FS about my cervix issue we'll ask her about tests for implantation failure but apparently endomestrosis, blocked tubes and a difficult transfer can all have a negative impact on implantation. And a low ovarian reserve can also suggest an egg or embryo issue. So I have a few things we already know about stacked against me. Knowing my luck I wouldn't be surprised if there is something else in the mix we are yet to discover but from previous responses I get the impression my FS waits till after at least 3 failed IVF cycles before she does more tests. We will wait and see what she says when we see her, but I've always liked the idea of the FET and a natural cycle so hopefully that will make the difference. The FET will probably be our last cycle for this year so if it's unsuccessful we will look at a new game plan for next year. Glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better and everything is going well with your pregnancy :)
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Hi Meela, I have been reading all your posts and hoped with you guys for a BFP and I am so so sorry again.
ReplyDeleteI find it pretty difficult to comment on your blog with my phone, the captcha or whatever that thing you have to type in weird words always tells me I'm not doing it right so I end up givin it up...
Maybe you can disable it? I'm not sure I have on mine, will check that out today.
Anyway FET is such a different way of TTC and as you probably know I am all for it. Your body will be less under pressure with no big ovaries and no stims at all. It will be more kind of natural and I'm really hoping it will be the right one!
Just wondering did you think about running some test to know why your embies are not implanting? I know a couple that was going through the same and after 3 failed transfer they did some test and found out she had something called MTHFR so she did some treatment and then another FET and they got a BFP! Her blog is in spanish but I though it might be interesting...
anyway, best of luck, I think you Are going towords your FET with the right attitude.
V
Ops, wrong account, that's my italian blog, I am Mamma V by the way ; )
ReplyDeleteNext time we see our FS about my cervix issue we'll ask her about tests for implantation failure but apparently endomestrosis, blocked tubes and a difficult transfer can all have a negative impact on implantation. And a low ovarian reserve can also suggest an egg or embryo issue. So I have a few things we already know about stacked against me. Knowing my luck I wouldn't be surprised if there is something else in the mix we are yet to discover but from previous responses I get the impression my FS waits till after at least 3 failed IVF cycles before she does more tests. We will wait and see what she says when we see her, but I've always liked the idea of the FET and a natural cycle so hopefully that will make the difference. The FET will probably be our last cycle for this year so if it's unsuccessful we will look at a new game plan for next year. Glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better and everything is going well with your pregnancy :)
DeleteJust checking in to say I'm thinking of you guys. Glad you have a plan of action.
ReplyDelete