Ding Ding - Round 2

We are finally at cd1 of our second round of IVF :) Since we are doing a down reg cycle this time around, I'm basically just waiting to start the pill in a few days time. I'm excited to be starting a new cycle as I've been feeling a little frustrated by the lack of baby making action lately since we had to skip a cycle. Of course I've still got a few weeks before anything exciting happens and we get to see whether the changes for this cycle make any difference to the egg count and quality, but I feel good about being back in the saddle again (so-to-speak!).

Since my last post I've been popping lots of different pills every day, exercising a bit more (we bought an exercise bike), trying hard to reduce the acidity in my diet (which is VERY hard to do) and generally trying to de-stress. I've also had 3 reflexology sessions and in 3 more weeks my load at work should be halfed, so I am really looking forward to having a much less stressful, guilt free cycle this time around. At least that's the plan! The cost of this cycle has gone up by about $500 with the new financial year so I have been madly sorting out my tax return to hopefully pay for the next 2 cycles. Apart from that, our girls are back and family life is well and truly in full swing again with all the usual fun and games :)

Reflexology, pill popping and a new protocol

Halfway through my week off work and I'm slowly starting to feel a little less stressed. Scout and I are missing the girls but we're enjoying having some much needed quality time together. Last weekend we went to Echuca and stayed in a cabin on the Murray River for two nights. It was great. We took the boat with us and went fishing. Still didn't catch anything (much to Scouts frustration), but we did enjoy exploring the river. I almost fell in the water once trying to brake off a snag and we ran out of petrol coming back, about 100m from the boat ramp! The engine just cut out and the current started taking us backwards. We had to break out the oars and row against the current to the nearest shore LOL. Alittle embarrassing and Scout was petrified we were going to get bitten by a snake climbing up the embankment. Fortunately it wasn't much of a walk to find the car and go get more petrol, but we've decided to invest in a reserve tank now as that could have been a nightmare if we'd been further away or worse if we had the girls with us! Anyway, we can laugh about it now :).

Monday I spent the whole day in the garden which I haven't done in ages, cleaning up the vegie patch, rotating our compost bins, chopping back tress and racking up leaves.  I could barely walk by the end of the day but I enjoyed it.  And yesterday we had a big day on the TTC front with two appointments planning our next round of IVF.

By a random coincidence it turns out Scout's sister has an ex whose mother does Reflexology with a special interest in fertility so we've decided to give her a go as she has a very good success rates with her clients. Scout contacted her last week and yesterday we had our first appointment with her. She seems very nice, understands alot about the IVF process and has worked with IVF clinics before so I feel pretty confident that she will be able to help us - even if all she does is help me cope with stress a bit better. She explained how her therapy compliments an IVF cycle and at what stages of the cycle we need to see her. She gave me a relaxation cd, recommended an alkaline diet and while she couldn't "prescribe" she has suggested we consider taking Vitex to help with egg quality and baby aspirin every second day to address any possible implantation or clotting issues. The Vitex sounded like a good idea but I was alittle worried about the baby aspirin. She said because I have an A blood group and an english background, I'd be more prone to having "sticky" blood which can sometimes effect implantation. She said that clotting issues are expensive to test for so IVF clinics often wait till you've had 3 or more miscarriages or failed cycles before they consider testing for it and then prescribing the baby aspirin. I guess I don't really want to take something unless I know I need it and a doctor prescribes it ... But I also don't want to go through 3 failed cycles or miscarriages if all I needed to do was take a little baby aspirin every other day. Anyway, I'm in two minds about this. I also asked her about Royal Jelly and Baca which I've been reading a bit about lately but she seemed to think these things might not be the best idea to take due to their potency and side effects. I'm not sure if any of you have ever tried this stuff or the Vitex or baby aspirin but I'd like to hear your thoughts on them if you have any.

We also had an appointment in the afternoon with our FS, so I asked her about the baby aspirin and she said she didn't feel it was indicated at present and left it at that. Scout also asked her about HDEA and she said she didn't think I needed that either and that it would just make me hairy LOL. Instead she has recommended a down regulation cycle to put to sleep any endometrosis that might still be active at the moment and then start stimming at 400iu Puregon with the hope that we'll get better numbers. I was a little surprised as I've heard some low responders say that their ovaries have had trouble waking back up on this protocol, but my FS didn't think it would be an issue. So it looks like we are headed for the long cycle of bcp followed by stimming and sniffing syneryl before we get to collection. I'm actually ok with this as it gives us more time to save and work of egg quality. AF is due at the end of the month but I have plenty to work on in the meantime ... Primarily getting my stress under control, figuring out how to make this alkaline diet work for me, getting rid of the belly bloat I've got going on and getting a few reflexology sessions under my belt.

5 more days till I have to go back to work, so today I think I'll make some "alkaline" soup of some description and give this relaxation cd a crack :)

The aftermath

This would have to be the heaviest period I have ever had. I'm not cramping as much as I thought I would but I'm still really uncomfortable and there seems to be no end to the clots that keep coming. I was surprised that my period arrived almost immediately after stopping the progesterone. One skipped dose and the next morning it was there. I'm not complaining ... In fact I'm glad I didn't have to wait too long for it to come. But it's a little scary to know that one missed dose could have that effect. Another unexpected side effect, which I'm assuming is the result of 'hormone withdrawal', is nausea. I haven't puked but I've felt pretty damn close to it. It actually woke me up the first night it was so bad. I just feel really sick and really uncomfortable.

Despite feeling like hell, I still went to work today and was a total space cadet. My boss was really concerned because she knows I've had lots of medical appointments and she knows I'm not right but she doesn't know why or what's wrong. Anyway, long story short, she's convinced me to take a week off work. I'm just shattered and under normal circumstances if I felt like this I wouldn't be dragging myself to work. I'd take a sick day or two or organise some annual leave, but I've taken so much time off work this year I've just felt like it's not an option to take more. So I've just kept pushing myself to keep going and keep it all together ... But clearly the cracks are starting to show. Anyway I guess I just needed someone to give me "permission" to take time out and fortunately I have a very insightful and supportive manager whose done exactly that. So ... I'm taking next week off. I am tired, run down and looking forward to having a rest. The girls are away at their dad's so Scout and I will have time to ourselves. She has been so great through all this, always knowing the right thing to say and putting up with my crankiness one minute and tears the next. She's so patient and loving and I am so lucky to have her. This BFN has hit her just as hard as me, so having some time off on our own together will be good for both of us.