33 weeks and starting to feel it

Scan was all good last week.  The placenta has moved up and is now 4.5cm away from the cervix so I don't need to worry about that anymore.  Baby was measuring 32 weeks exactly and I was 32wks 1day.  Fluid was good and baby was head down, so we really couldn't be happier with how things are going in there.  Could even see her little lungs / chest muscles going up and down in practice for breathing on the outside!  But unfortunately she was hiding her face for most of the scan so we didn't get much of a good look at her except for this one pic with her hand across her mouth :)

                      

I'm finding I have some really good days and other days I'm exhausted before I even get to work.  Part of me is starting to think I really should be finishing work sooner rather than later, but at this point the plan is to stick it out till 36 weeks.  Will see how I go.  It's only 2.5 weeks away.  I have to go see my GP at the end of this week for approval to keep working till then.  If she says no I'll be leaving things in a bit of a mess!  A whole bunch of clients who I thought we're just waiting on equipment have suddenly come up with new issues over the last couple of weeks, so instead of finishing things off I've been chasing my tail trying to sort out new dramas which I'm alittle unimpressed about ... but that's always the way isn't it.  I should have half expected it.  My new word for next week is "NO" lol

Baby is still super busy in there and keeping me on my toes with all her pushing and jabbing.  The other day I kept feeling this repeated beating in the one spot which actually had me a bit worried cos she doesn't normally move like that, but then I realised it was hiccups.  Was very cute.  Anyway, we've got most things we need for baby now ... Just need to organise stuff in the room a bit more and get rid of other things that need to go.  Still haven't found a nappy bag I like yet either.  Anyway ... We'll get there.  Hopefully I'll have time to deal with all that once I finish work!

My belly's been catching food for awhile, but it's actually starting to get knocked on things now. I keep meaning to do a bump shot but life has been so busy with work and the kids that it's the last thing I think of doing.  Midwife appointment is next week.  I'll post again after that, hopefully with a pic if I get my act together!

Back pain and Braxton Hicks

Had my first introduction to Braxton Hicks over the weekend.  I actually think I might have been getting them before then but put the discomfort down to just baby's position and a bit of back pain.  Two weeks ago I was starting to struggle with being uncomfortable at work and in bed at home.  I figured it was just from bad posture and sitting in bed reading or surfing the net.  Anyway, Scouts mum and dad brought us an old recliner of theirs for me to sleep in when needed and after that things seemed to get a bit better.  I had a session with an Osteopath who gave me some exercises and advice which was all good but then a few days later the back pain returned worse than ever.  Saturday morning I was really struggling so I decided to go to the pool and just walk up and down in it while the girls had their lessons.  It helped a bit while I was in there - but getting out was a rude shock to the system and by the time I got home I was completely exhausted.  Somewhere in between swimming and getting home I realised that it wasn't just back pain I was feeling, it was stomach cramps.  I could hardly sit or lie down for the rest of the afternoon even though I was dead on my feet, and it was only at the end of the day that I finally asked Scout to blow up the fit ball so I could sit on that and rest my head on some pillows at the side of the bed.  It was probably one of the longest and most uncomfortable days I've had so far during this pregnancy ... And to be honest it scared me a bit because part of me was starting to worry that it might actually be more than just Braxton Hicks considering how intense it was and how long it went on for.  Anyway I really should have called the midwife (which Scout asked me to do repeatedly) but for whatever reason I decided to just wait a bit longer to see if it got any worse and fortunately by Sunday morning I was feeling fine again.  To be honest, I can't believe I went from being in that much pain and discomfort one day, to being relatively mobile and pain free the next!  At least I'm much more aware of the cramping that seems to accompany the back pain I've been getting now, but I'll definitely be mentioning it at my next midwife appointment.  

Baby has been moving heaps lately so that's put my mind at ease and we have our 32 week scan tomorrow to check on the position of the placenta so we'll also get to check in on baby then.  Will be interesting to see how much she's changed since the last scan!  Anyway - as long as she's fine and she stays in there for at least another 6-8 weeks I'll be happy. My reflexologist seems to think I'll go early but I'm hoping to prove her wrong.  4 more weeks left at work now and I'm counting down the days till I can just focus on stuff at home and getting ready for bub.  I feel like I'm spreading myself a bit thin with the limited energy I've got right now cos my patience with the girls hasn't been the best.  I feel guilty about that and even had a bit of a cry last night because I feel like a bad mum when I get cross with them for little things that wouldn't normally make me snap.  They are such good kids and I am just a cranky old mole right now trying to keep all the balls in the air.   The hot weather and fires haven't helped, so we probably all just need a weekend away together to relax once things cool down a bit.  Anyway ... I'll post again soon ... hopefully with some more pics of our little one after I've had the scan :)

10 weeks to go

Very tired this morning with a killer back ache.  Poor Scout decided to sleep up the other end of the bed because I was so restless and clearly taking up too much room with my pillows.  Basically I think I've been doing too much and now I'm paying for it.  I spent half of Saturday at the sewing machine repairing clothes, teaching the girls about what I was doing and making Charlie a pair of summer PJ pants which actually turned out ok considering I didn't have a pattern.  Then yesterday I was out shopping with Jazz for most of the day, so now my back is very unhappy with me.  I'm tight all down my right side and no amount of stretching seems to be helping the situation.  Anyway ... I know I need to suck it up and get use to it cos it's going to get a lot worse, but right now I'm still sitting in my cranky pants!  

We have been talking about names for baby alot lately and getting nowhere.  Both of us like fairly old fashioned names but anything outside of that, we can't agree on.  And none of the ones we do both like are all that exciting.  I spent a lot of time looking at websites last night and even started trying to trace my family tree to find something.  The problem is ... I can't seem to let go of the one name I always wanted to use for girl.  I was very close to my nan and I always thought if I had a girl I would name it after her.  My nan's first name was Lil so I always planned to use Lily for a girls name.  This was right up until Scout's ex named his daughter Lillianne two years ago.  Normally I wouldn't care what he called his kid but the reality is, Lillianne is Charlie and Jazzy's half sister so it's a bit hard to try and give them another sister named Lily. My nan's middle name is 'Forward' - very odd/unusual and probably not a name our little one would appreciate later in life so basically both my nan's names are out and I am left feeling a bit sad and hormonal about the whole thing.  At this rate the poor kid will end up being nameless for weeks after it's born because I can't think of another name that will cut it.  It's a first world problem I know ... and I will get over it ... eventually ... but right now it's a real shit.

Baby wise, our midwife appointment was fine.  I'm measuring right on track and baby's heart rate is still galloping along.  The midwife started asking about birth plan / preferences and I don't think she was too impressed with my response.  Scout and I opted not to do the prenatal classes because basically we didn't feel up to being the token lesbians amidst all the hetero couples etc and I figured I could just read about it and that would be enough.  Scout never did classes for the girls and neither did her mum with any of her kids.  They are both very pro-epidural and most baby birth shows I've watched all end in the mother needing one anyway so in my head, my birth plan has been pretty simple - I want an epidural.  If there's an option that will address the pain then why would I choose not to use it?  I don't feel the need to prove anything, nor is it important to me to have an all natural birth.  As long and baby is ok and I'm ok, I'm happy.  Anyway, this midwife seemed a bit unimpressed by my lack of "care factor" in this department and started talking about gas and pethidene and other stuff.  It kinda pissed me off and to be honest I was kinda shocked that she believed pethidene was a better option than an epidural.  But I did get her point that I needed to consider all the available options, so since this conversation I've decided I need to get a bit better educated so my decisions are alittle more "informed".  No doubt it'll probably still end in an epidural or I might need a c-section, but I do need to be a bit more serious about how I'm going to handle the early stages of labour.  And I also need to come up with some strategies to deal with situations that might make me panic.  I might not be so concerned about how baby arrives, but I am concerned about her arriving safely.  Anyway, I've started reading a birth skills book and will also make a point of reading up on all the drug related options for pain control over the next month or so, including the pros and cons of an epidural.  

Apart from my birth skills book, I've also started reading and thinking about how I'm going to cope with baby once she's on the outside.  It's an interesting position to be in when your partner has already had and cared for a baby but you haven't.  Jazzy was two when I came into the picture and when I worked as a nanny OS, all the kids were also two or older.  So this will be all new for me and while I have an experienced partner to help me though it (which is obviously a bonus), it comes with it's own challenges in some ways.  So far, Scout has been very good about not offering too much 'advice' through this whole pregnancy.  She's been understanding and supportive and has only really had an opinion about the birth to be honest.  But when I find myself thinking about how I want to care for baby, I sometimes feel almost alittle closeted and foolish discussing ideas with her that I know are different from the way she would do things.  She has always humoured me, and supported me in trying things she personally thinks are just crazy and won't work, so normally I don't have a problem in just laying these ideas out there but when it comes to baby stuff, I guess I feel bit 'hesitant'?   I'm inexperienced and uninitiated, so it makes me feel a bit 'silly' coming out with ideas that I know she might scoff at.  I don't have a heap of them ... but there is the odd thing that's come up lately and I'm surprised by how much confidence I feel like I've needed to pluck up just to raise them.  We communicate very well about most things and even with this stuff, the discussions are always supportive even when there is a difference of opinion but I guess it's just interesting that I suddenly find myself feeling alittle 'intimated' as I enter into this new role.  Anyways, bless her, she never rolls her eyes and is always happy to let me indulge in ideas I know aren't necessarily her preference, so I really shouldn't feel so silly about sharing them.  

Anyway, I'm 30 weeks this week :). My bump is still "small", "neat" and "compact" (as described by those around me).  Honestly I think my arse is bigger than my bump, but I'm definately feeling the stretch and starting to notice the odd thing that's getting harder to do.  Two more weeks and we get to see our little one again at a 32 week scan.  Hopefully that placenta has moved up by then!  We've had some more pics taken and will probably get some more done around the time I finish work.  Girls go back to school on Wednesday and I'm not sure how they are going to cope with getting up early and being back in a routine of homework, dinner, bath and bed, but one way or another we're all going to have to get back into the swing of things.  Anyway ... I'll leave you with a few of the pics from last week :)

Full steam ahead

28 weeks today and suddenly I have swollen feet.  I feel like I've managed to escape a lot of the unpleasant side effects of being pregnant so far ... but I think my luck might be about to run out!  We are having a bit of a heat wave at the moment and we have to stay in the office when there's a severe or extreme fire danger, so being stuck at a desk not moving around a lot has left me with throbbing feet.  I try to get up and move around but it doesn't seem to make alot if difference, especially when the aircon isn't coping too well with lots of hot bodies inside and it being 43 degrees outside.  I'm also getting restless legs at night which is making sleep difficult.  I try to stretch and Scout is good at rubbing my legs but no matter what I do, it always seems to come back.  Anyway ... in the scheme of things I'm still doing pretty well so I can't really complain.  Baby's movements are changing as she gets bigger.  I feel a lot more pushing and stretching and rolling around these day.  Most of the time she's pretty good but occasionally I'll get the odd kick or punch in the cervix which is fun ... Not.  My belly seems to have really popped over the last week as well, so most people can tell I'm pregnant these days ... Except of the odd person who still thinks I've just had alittle too much pudding over Xmas ;).  No stretch marks yet but I'm sure they are just around the corner.

Christmas was different without the girls but we still managed to enjoy ourselves.  Our stay in the city was lovely and we enjoyed eating lots of yummy food and visiting family.  Unfortunately the festive season also brought with it the passing of one of my long term clients and also a good friend I use to work with which was alittle rough.  The client was someone I'd spent a lot of time working with for the past 18 months and I knew she was on her way out but I was hoping she'd get to see Christmas one last time.  Unfortunately it just wasn't to be and even though it was expected, I took it harder than I thought I would.  My friend then passed away about a week later, which was alittle more unexpected and a lot more difficult.  She had brain cancer and I had been expecting her to still be around for a couple more years but apparently the cancer changed in Novemeber (which I was unaware of) and after that, things progressed pretty rapidly.  It was a bit of shock to get a text message just after Christmas telling me she was in hospital and if I wanted to say goodbye I needed to do it within the next 24 hours.  By the time I found out, she was already unresponsive and I just felt so much guilt about not having made the effort visit her again sooner, that I couldn't bring myself to go in there.  It just felt like visiting her when she was no longer "present" was all just a bit too little too late.  Sometimes I feel a bit of regret about that now, but deep down I know the regret has less to do with not "saying goodbye" and everything to do with not spending more time with her while she was here.  She was a lovely person and a good friend and it all just felt so wrong.  She knew how it was going to happen because we'd treated patients together who'd had the same thing ... But she was so brave.  Anyway, the funeral was difficult because her family are Islamic so the rituals were unfamiliar and I didn't understand much of it.  The burial in particular was pretty traumatic because it was all about just getting her into the ground and covered up as quickly as possible.  I just stood there feeling crushed by the haste of it all, watching my poor friend being buried by dirt without any sentiment or mention of what an amazing person she was.  It was heartbreaking and just all round bad.  Anyway, thankfully her husband arranged a memorial a few days later which was beautiful and full of love and everything  wonderful about her which made me laugh and cry and gave me the opportunity I needed to finally say goodbye.  

Anyway ... on a lighter note, the new year brought the birth of two new babies into my world which was very exciting :). Both were boys - the first was from my sister who went through 16 IVF cycles and 6 miscarriages to get there.  She was on bedrest for most of the pregnancy and everyone was pretty much holding their breath till he finally arrived safely, so it was a pretty special start to the year.  And the second was from one of my work collegues who I've been able to share part of this pregnancy experience with.  Her little man arrived 2 weeks early and she had a much easier time than with her first.

So the two weeks I had away from work were both good and bad but well timed I guess, and now it's pretty much just head down / tail up till I start maternity leave in 7 weeks.  I had my glucose tolerance test last week and I haven't heard anything since so I'm assuming it's all good.  I guess I'll find out for sure tomorrow at my midwife appointment.  The girls got back today so it's a mad house around here again but we are both really happy to have them back and we're looking forward to spending a bit of quality time with them before they start back at school at the end of the month.  

Anyway ... I'm alittle exhausted now after such a big day so I'll leave it at that.  I keep wanting to blog more but unfortunately finding the energy for it is another thing entirely.  

Holidays Finally! And we're having a ...!

The last couple of weeks have been busy ... School Christmas concerts, Charlie and Scout's birthday, our gender reveal, chrissy shopping, taking the kids to different Christmas shows and events, not to mention working our tails off in our respective jobs.  The heat is also turning up outside so bottom line is ... I'm tired and so relieved to be able to finally get off the merry-go-round and have a break for a bit!  I have pretty much done the bare minimum in terms of Christmas preparations this year.  No baking or chutney making.  No advent calender.  We didn't even decorate the outside of the house.  We gave the girls the Christmas tree box and just let them do what they liked with it, which actually turned out pretty good (although alittle heavy on the tinsel!!).  I love the ornaments they chose to use ;)

                       

Apart from just being tired, the other reason we haven't really gotten into the spirit of things is because this will be the first year the girls won't be with us.  They are spending it with their dad in Queensland so we are dropping them off to their Aunty at the airport this afternoon.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Christmas really is all about the kids so it will be a bit weird to wake up to a quiet empty house without them on Christmas morning, but I'm also not about to complain about having some time on our own together :). So since this will also be the last time we will be kid free (ever!) we have booked a hotel in the city for xmas eve and I'm looking forward to wandering the streets listening to carols and looking at the lights and christmas displays in the shop windows and just doing whatever we feel like without having to worry about the little ones :). 

On the baby front, I am now a very merry 25 weeks pregnant!  Crazy! 

                       

And I can finally say that our gender reveal last weekend was lovely :).  There was only a few people who couldn't make it (because let's face it ... it's a bad time of year to be rescheduling a celebration at the last minute!) but it went off really well and we felt very loved.  It is a rare thing to get both sides of Scout's family together at the same time but we pulled it off and I'm so glad they could all be there for it.  Especially Scout's grandparents who are both quite unwell generally but came along anyway.  People took photos and filmed it for us and I honestly can't rewatch it without tearing up every time (being the pregnant sap that I've become!).  

                       

So it appears there will be a bit more pink joining our little family!  We're very excited :). I felt alittle disappointed for Scout because I know how badly she was hoping for a son but I think those pink balloons that floated past her car the day before helped to convince her there is a special reason we are having a little girl and we both just feel so blessed :)

Anyway, I need to pack a bag and sort out the girls and animals before we leave for the airport!   Merry Christmas everyone, and if I don't post again this year ... I hope you all have a very happy new year x

Quick catch up

I often think about things I want to blog but right now the time and energy seems hard to come by. I have one week left till I get time off for Christmas holidays and it can't come soon enough! Yesterday was Charlie's birthday. She turned 9! Crazy! We bought her a Billy cart which she put together herself and she's been riding it (and crashing it) ever since :). Jazzy has been a handful just in keeping her fed, entertained and relatively happy. Some days she seems like 3 year old and other days she's bordering on teen behavior. Together, the girls now fight ALOT. Their interests and abilities are becoming increasingly different with Charlie wanting to do her own thing and Jazzy wanting her to still be her constant playmate. It will be interesting to see how a baby changes the dynamics in the house.

Our cancelled BBQ will finally take place tomorrow :)  I'm looking forward to it but tired and will no doubt be a bit stressed trying to pull it all together tomorrow. Scout is nervous about finding out the baby's sex lol. Either way it will be interesting!

I feel baby's movements more and more each day. Both the girls have also felt baby now but I think they are alittle underwhelmed by how subtle the movement still is at the moment on the outside. Hopefully they'll start finding it a bit more exciting in another month or two.

Sleep is still a problem (mostly because of hayfever) but I've pretty much accepted that that's how things will be now. My hips get very sore and I can't figure out how to get comfy with all the big pillows so I have actually resorted to using just one regular pillow and one of the kids pillow pets which is small enough to reposition easily when I roll.  

Anyway I have heaps more to write about but lots to do right now so it will have to wait till after the reveal :).  Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow.  It's going to be a big day!

Ps.  Scout just got back from a driving lesson with a student and is freaking out because in the middle of the lesson a big clear bag filled with pink balloons randomly floated right down in front of her car and then floated away again!  She's pretty much convinced now that we are having a girl!

Cancelled Reveal

Jazz has been throwing up since 3am this morning with another stomach bug so we have had to cancel our family BBQ today.  We are very disappointed.  Have been doing a lot of preparation and cooking etc to get ready for today so it's been a bit of a fizzer.  But these things happen.  We can't do it without Jazz and even if she starts feeling better later in the day, we don't want her to give it to anyone else.  Scouts nana has a blood disease that effects her immune system so she can't be exposed to any kind of cold or bug, and neither can any of the other family members she lives with.  We've been tossing up just doing our own thing at home today but to be honest, we are both so tired from being up and down with Jazz last night, we're both a bit over it all now.  So we've decided to put all the meat and cakes in the freezer and reschedule to the 15 Dec, which means it will unfortunately have to coincide with Charlie's birthday and another family function in Scout's family.  It's not a good time of year to be changing things at short notice but hopefully we'll still be able to make it work.  So it's now going to be another 2 weeks till we'll know what we're having!